Base of a rebel

Update mania....

2007-01-08T08:26:00.000+08:00

This year's update... is gonna be life threathening to me if I do it... so.. stay tune...

Cool Crush Trash Crash

2006-11-08T10:07:00.000+08:00

Remember that obscene crush I had?? He's no longer listed... He's now just another techno junkie with a girlfriend that looks like she's a zombified human who hasn't sleep for a decade.... Reason for the change??

BAD... WORST EXCUSE OF AN EXAM PAPER!!!!

He teaches me... Introduction of microcomputers and information technology...in short it's a beginner guide to computers... It's in BM weirdly... I hate this course now... For the butchering of terms it does in BM.... I wanna die at the sight of it...

What the hell is... "Papan Ibu"??? Direct translation would be motherboard.. But... Haven't the term " Papan Induk " ever occur?? Among other horrendous disasterous translations... includes..

" Biat " <---------- Byte
" Pertanyaan " <--------- Querry
" kayu bedik " <--------- Pointer
" Main frame " <-------- Kerangka Utama
" Boot Sejuk " <-------- Cold Boot
" Beban ke bawah " <--------- transfering data from main frame to user ( forgot the term)

Etc....

* BAN SHEE WHAIL!!!!*

He's not cute any more!!!!!

Bone Crushing Finals

2006-10-30T15:40:00.000+08:00

Oh my.. I so wanna throw up at the though of my finals is here... and I'm doomed like usual... No one's fault but mine.. with my slow absorbing, if not no absorbing brain cells... and Highly POOR, to the point of poverty time management... And I'm hooked on FlyFF....
What can I say?? I miss the old GUM-mer gaming together in Ragnarok days.... I wished everyone would join and we can all have fun again.. Unbias fun.... Me, the earthly creature really do think so....I gues I need some friends too... Sincere ones... Though it's suprising that my titanium encasted cardiac tissues still have some flesh in them.... I miss being able to have someone to talk to about everything... A boy friend can't do that... there's bound to be thing you can't talk to him about.. like things between you and him... that's where a friend comes in... where you can bitch all about your boyfriend and still am safe.... It works the other way around too if you want to bitch about your friend...

This is a desperate cry for F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!!!!

PLAY FLYFF WITH ME!!!!

Screw And Sulk How To

2006-10-19T16:49:00.000+08:00

A fairly good friend is amused at how I could use incompatible terms together in a sentence and make them work... Hence I promised to share how does it work... All it takes is a lil Imagination on how to Screw and Sulk in a sentence.... It's easy...

Everyone knows what "screw" basically means in technical and wise ass term... Don't act innocent.... "Sulk" is even easier for 99% of us in the world to do it constantly, sometimes unceasingly all day long... What's so hard to imagine them in the same line??

I screw and sulk on my own time so I could be happy dainty on my blog!!

See?It's nothing hard... You know there might be situations where you might be screwing someone or being screwed by someone and they/you are sulking hence you/they could go...

" I'm screwing you go sulk at your own time!?"

"Don't screw and sulk at me at the same time!!"

" Your screw suck!! Go sulk in the corner!!! "

Maybe you're gonna watch a DVD you anticipated so long, and it comes up coughing and wheezing so bad you can't even hear a undisturbed moo from the cow...Cause you got it from the streets for 5 bucks...

" Argh!!! Now I gotta sulk through this whole screwed movie!!! "

And etc.... etc... Nothing to it.... :P Basically you get the idea... Just be whacked.... Seriously Whacked...

Club Nation

2006-10-17T15:29:00.000+08:00

It's ladies night again.....Well soon..... And ppl are going out being crazy again.... lusting and luring lonely wolfs into their tents.... LOL... I know it sounds very disturbing to some people... but heck it's fun.... To move and bounce like a once sane Beyonce... making the DJ howl and growl like an animal.... The clinking and crashing of glasses and bottles.... Having correct/positive energy/attention directed to you and you alone.. In short... let's just say we're all what we hoped to be.. A SHOW STOPPER!!!!
Yet... this spoiled rebel can't be seen in action this week.... she's has sustained injury from her recent mission to eliminate the shuttle cock....and her rations from head quarters are running very berry silly low.... So low... She would win hands down and blindfolded in a limbo competition if it could be done..... The spoiled rebel has lost a chunk of meat from her leg.... but it is up for sale if anyone wants a collection/taste/whatever reason of burned/cooked human meat...?? It should be tasty with a little salt and maybe pepper... the rebel usually have lean legs... could be guaranteed to not taste like rubber....When you're luck is down low... you just have to ride it out....
Hence... You could call the rebel as Hunch Back of Notoriously Damned Local Uni Student or cleverly disguise as... HBNDLUS... Because I'm irritated by the fact I can't dance/party tonight... I'm gonna have ugly synonyms... The only good thing out of all these is... My bunny was with me.... Sniff sniff.... It pains!!!! And the fact i might get to go sing my heart out tomorrow.... keke!!!

Daunting Lanterns

2006-10-16T13:39:00.000+08:00

Ai.. Yee... Ho... Yip... Sigh.... When festivals comes around and you're all so far away from home/family.... You tend to( desperately ) feel awfully lonely.... Every year there's a Chinese festival called the lantern/mooncake festivals... It's a time that symbolizes and celebrates the union of a family... Makes me think of dear Momzilla's cooking... And Daddi-yo's tea ceremonies... With delicious mooncakes... A whole Babylon filled of assorted local fruits... The all so exciting and must tradition of lantern "accidentally" caught on fire.... And the little top secret ritual of me and the now *cough*engaged*cough* lego monster( Leon) .... Plus We'd always have the wondrous presence of our empress (grandma) smiling all so auspiciously that there's no need for the moon to even come out....
But now.... The rebel still a bit(awfully) spoilt is all alone in the big smoky hazy terribly-cemented crime ridden and skyless city... Even the presence of Mr Hunny wunny bunny can't fix it... Can't someone invent some bullet train or space dimension leaper where it makes teleportation possible?? Or maybe just make super human clones with powers like Superman to fly me back home anytime I want...? But then we'll face the ultimate elimination of the transportation system huh?? No airlines.. No vehicles... NO POLLUTION!!!! WOW!!! I'm a genius... Quick.. Some physically looking nerds with great brains living in your parent's basement.. Start doing your job... The spoilt rebel command thee... She wants her annual open burning ritual and do some pollution all the while maybe taking out her semi automatic double barrel riffle and shoot some damned animals on her free time without having booked downtown and splashed all across major newspaper saying how she as a environmentalists soon to be hunt animals .... Not good looking animals.. Yet they taste good.. Mind you!!!
Finals coming now... I hope I don't choke like usual... I wonder if I'll pull miracles again.. Where I get E for mid seems and pull a B+ out of my magician hat... Well... Magic and miracles are unexplainable so... Let's hope I do....
Go hunt your own monsters in your closet before you come and ask me bout my quirckiness... I'm kinda not making sense and crazy lately...

PS : There were pictures I took of some lanterns hanged all over a tree but I haven't transfered them.. so.... But I can tell you, standing under that lighted tree sure is daunting.. It makes you feel like you're not in any time line or dimension.. Like someone completely remote from something call Time...Yet not alone at all...

My First Obscene Crush!!!!

2006-10-11T17:33:00.000+08:00

OH !!!! The world is not so bad today!!! I've identified my first obscene crush on a LECTURER!!!! Bwahahaha... No kidding... He's smart ..... cute in a geek sense... and... unbelievably 9 years older than mua...*SCREAM*!!!!! I wanna die from melting.... Hehe....From the absents of a ring or any ring on any hands he have.. apparently from the 2 hands I can see... It makes him all so edible...Yum-yum!!

He's a Dr... It means he has his PhD... He's got his papers from the states.... Not an appealing point but acceptable.... LOL.... No pictures lah... You think I'm serial stalker is it?? He teaches me a subject related to computers... The subject itself is pretty useful/useless depending on your own knowledge of the computer... Teaches you what a CPU is... What Hardware is... How to use word to draw 3-d pictures.... Excel.. PowerPoint... Front page... Linux... Etc etc... He's... Brilliant like that....

I am weird like that..... But this is healthy...At least I'm finally having positive feelings about campus or it's occupants.. Do trust me this is very berry hard to come by... Though I already have my dear hubby bunny wunny... one itsy bitsy crush is acceptable... Don't worry... He's highly unattainable cause I'm horrifyingly ugly in school attire.... Keke.... The same can't be said if he saw me in a club.... Go fish!!

<------ My lil Princess.. She's real cute and I'm trying to sound like Idiotic XiaXue Of Singapore....

Boobie-thon!!

2006-10-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

Yes... The annual Boobie-thon is back... And I am a part of it... Why? Cause I have mammaries I hope to keep till their sagging to my knee days... Intact with no surgical scars...Except if it was for 'Enhancement" purposes... LOL... I believe I owned a pair of raisins...
No points given if you manage to guess which picture belong to me... But.. I'm under the title closely related to Metallica.... Now go fish....
Don't be disappointed if you can't find me... There's still tons and tons of boobies to gawk at.... And you won't be call a pervert either... If you feel guilty.. You could always donate?? Do donate... Simply cause I donated my pair of raisins lah.... They are for see only.. No touch-touch...Please don't print out and have it tape all over your wall.... You'll make me blush and all so happy.... :P
Might be contributing my raisins bared all.... It's a big Might.. But who knows... I'm crazy and high since my mid sem is over.. Let me be crazy before I need to die for finals...
I am... CRAZY!!!! And not regretting it!!!! * Any resemblance from KFC's slogan is highly coincidental!!!!*

The not so Thai club

2006-09-28T04:56:00.000+08:00

Hooray hurrah!!! I've been to a club in Kuala Lumpur.... Yet... So disappointing... The legendary Thai club among ah lians and ah bengs... Not 1 local good looking guy can be found.... Not 1 local male dancer can be found.... Plenty of crossdressers who grind and bump better.... One of the cambodian waiter is Hot HOT HOT!!!! I wish he's working the dance floor... Let me rephrase that... I wish he's grinding with me!!!!!
Environment is.. emm... I can't see any... Atmosphere... Crowded and suffocating to the point of... Ppl are forced to move like they're dancing to get from point A to point B... Table are highly insufficient that yours truly have to stand with her drink...
DJ is..... emm... Pushy.... When yours truly profusely repetitively decline his offer to dance on the table top... He kept insisting...Though it's an honor.... It's highly annoying.... Not every ballad is danceable.... Some are quite hilarious it made us broke out in fits of laughter.... The Live band before the DJ was very good at what they are doing.... But I wouldn't mind if they have better songs selection.... How do you dance to Alanis morrisette's songs?? I for one am clueless....
All and all.... DO not want to be in Thai club again unless desperately necessary.....

Stupidified Mathematically Challanged Male

2006-09-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I'm quite loose, where I don't care much what you do with stuff that belongs to me as long as they return safe and sound where they belong when I need them... Or at least let me know where have they gone to... But recently... Somebody began making rice wine and colonizing yeast using my cute little rice cooker given to me by my dear sister... And even my chopstick are M.I.A ....
Who the hell steals ppl's chopstick? It's just 2 wooden sticks smaller then kayu balaks and bigger than toothpicks... I would have expected that uni student would have brains bigger than a pea or it's pod... Besides... Freaking Uni students have loan(PTPTN).... Full loans means you get about 20,000 plus for that 3 years of your life in uni... ian't that enough to buy you.... About.... 40000 pair of chopstick if the chopstick are 50 cent a pair??? I'd imagined if you lose 3 pair a day you'd still have enough left for another 12 degree!!!!!! WTF do you wanna steal ppl's chopstick for????
12 Fucking degrees.... You could out whine any windbag made in any part of the world with 12 degrees..... And still have chopstick left!!!! You could rebuild a garden of trees with those chopstick.... What the hell is this guy thinking... I seriously don't know....
And the fermenting rice wine/yeast colony concocted in my dear rice cooker.... I have no idea how many days it has been sitting there since it's a while since I've used my dear rice cooker... Probably it's from last week... The rice/porridge inside have turn to the colour of pink!!!! Have you ever seen rice in a pink shade??? And when the lid was lifted.. You have no idea what heavenly smell greeted me... I felt like I'm suddenly warped into the inside of a cow!!!! Alcohol never smelled so bad!!! Reminds me of rotting fish....Wait... Rotting fish smelled more bearable!!!!Apart from that... Whomever this is.. Left me colonizing yeast too.. In case I'm bored with the mundanes of 1 colony of yeast he left me 2 with different colour so I could easily differentiate them... How thoughtful!!!!

Someone should send this fella to heaven before I do... cause he'lll be hanging between living hell and hell if it's up to me....

Wishi lissy

2006-09-19T20:50:00.000+08:00

Due to the constant attack of torture from Capt.campus and his legion of deadly naggity lecturers, I've gone wonkie and concoct a mighty long wish list for myself... I know it's still long from Christmas or my birthday.. But.. I'm bonkers....

I want!!!!

Tell me one girl that doesn't feel completely ecstatic if someone gave them Classy Nice jewelry not from pasar malams and I'll show you she either already own something more precious than this or she's actually secretly hoping to be a guy... SERIOUSLY

I want!!!

Tell me these shoes and alike aren't hot... I'll install you a new internal thermometer by showing one up your donkey!!!

I want!!!
A girl have to have her own toys...

I want!!!
Every notorious girl want flowers....

I'd also loved a litter of puppies from different species/breed... Love a series of phones especially those that shine!!!! Love a white laced wedding gown like the one on brides... Love a colorful bouquet instead of dead boring white... Love shoes of all hotness.... Love clothes of all hotness... Love to be dancing in a club... Love to be totally invisible while dancing... Love to be on top of the world...Love to have no war... Love to be able to be absolutely rude/crude/honest to everyone at anytime including myself..... Love to have my very own limitless supply of ingredient to make delicious Japanese food and my own Japanese chef... And the list goes on and on.....

I've stopped here.. Cause I'm too numb to continue... Sigh.... For those who matters... You know what to get me instead of plates and pots.... Carpets are not romantic or acceptable either...
You've been warned and further warned!!! It's your life in your own hands....

Being Alive

2006-08-30T12:02:00.000+08:00

When bad things happen to a person, i.e. you and me, we tend to ask why? Why does it has to happen??Why now?? Why here? Why him/her/me? We'd then try to pin it to someone... Someone remotely related or directly related.. Usually someone who couldn't defend themselves for various reasons... i.e. God...A stranger...A friend...
Seeing under another shade, why don't we ask "Why Not?" Why not me cause I'm strong enough to get through this...Why not me, I still have a long line ahead to walk it out?? Why not me, just because I can?
And then of course, there are those on the grey line where you are just too severed to think... You'd just slump and accept it... Or break into pieces unrecognizable... Either way... It's helpless...
On a dreamy mode, no matter how bad something look at that moment, it just depends on how you want it to look the moment after, that makes all the difference being suicidal or over coming it by a fair mile.
I guess that defines being alive very well... You get to choose to try to become someone you'd want to be remembered as, though no luxury of comfort or success guaranteed. Or you give up on all your hopes, dreams, goals and yourself so it'll be easier.. Easier to just stop, easier to just give up, easier to just whine, easier to just let go, at the end it'll be ultimately easier to just Die...
Dying ain't pretty, no matter how you end your own life it's NOT PRETTY... Not pretty on you, not pretty on your parents, not pretty on your family, not pretty on your friends, not pretty on those you cared for or cared for you... Think it out loud if it haunts you to end your own life... People would hear you... They would help... If they pretend to not hear you anyhow, those aren't considered people anyway... People care for living lives even if it's not one they are familiar with... That's what makes a human... Humane is what we have in our core...

Birdie Sings

2006-08-23T17:58:00.000+08:00

Recently, I'm kinda stuck on my playlist where endless repeat is on this 1 song.. guess it shows my mental state... so I thought of sharing.. hope you like it as much as I did....

Want one? Go to www.geocities.com/testiflash

:P

Out of Range

2006-08-14T18:43:00.000+08:00

Gonna be out of range this coming weekend... gonna be in a cave literally... Let's hope I don't fall into any pits...Hell I wish I do... till then... Guard yourselves well...

It's time to leave...

2006-08-07T12:31:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in my life, there will be things or people I cared so much, it hurts even for a moment for me to even think I'm gonna leave 1 day... But when you weigh your gains and loses... You found out It'd be the best for him if not you...
Someone I came to trust sincerely, equal to the rank of my grandma... Someone who's every flinch of mood makes me worry... where my sole goal around him is to make him happy...I guess he knows who he is... Sadly, I'm no longer a part of him... I choose to walk out because all I could see in his eyes when he looks at me is pain, anger, vengeance. Maybe he hasn't notice, he doesn't talk to me like he use to anymore, he doesn't look at me the same, he doesn't notice things he use to be able to spot a mile away no more...
I don't want to render someone handicapped with vengeance... I don't want to see another moment of hurt in your eyes... Goodbye... Hate me if you have to.. It'll be easier than seeing you being who you aren't...

*sob...I appreciate everything you did for me...*

DDS: Despise Doctors Syndrome

2006-08-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

Finally She now has reliable wi-fi at her home... Please do not start knocking on her virtual door like mad men/gals... She will not cease to hack your spinal cord onto the surface of a wok filled with boilling oil and let it cook and shimmer all stick to that coal black chinese pot...
Sick... Sick for the first time since I returned here..and I perfectly despise doctors here in KL.. They don't make use of their 6 year(probably 7) of studying on real patients instead of scenarios on a piece of exam paper... If I'm gonna walk into your office or practise and am able to tell you exactly what is wrong with me for medicines I can easily obtain from a pharmacy.. Why the hell do I need to drag myself in my sorry state to see you in your snourty high and pay what my poor student budget can't alredy afford for???I DESPISE KLANG VALLEY DOCTORS!!!!
I hope this sickness last for a few days so I can rest.... I have been in class/labs/tutorials/what not as early as 8 am everyday until 7 pm for 3 weeks and counting, without fail and I'm beginning to realise I now need or may need anger management theraphy against people I'm not so fond of!!!Wait till mis-sem comes.. I'll be looking even more dashing....
Some of the professors or doctors are quite our eye candy... Finally something to look at... very unattainable though.. unless you like shiny bowling lanes(on the head)??? and am VERY open with sharing a husband with a dozen of kids tagging along... Something about dozen of kids says something about someone's sexual appetite... but it also tells you how good their mental self strain is... (next to nothing)
Hope everyone is doing better than me.. IF you AREN'T message me quick and tell me all about it so I can loathe above you...(though in a sorry state....) I really don't give much thought to it anymore... =)

I attract Negatively Polared Females

2006-06-29T00:36:00.000+08:00

Believe it or not.. I have came down with the theory that because I attract guys.. I also ultimately attract negatively polared females... Make that HIGHLY negatively polared females... Even positively polared females would revert their poles just because I'm chummy with the guys...
Why does it happen??? Beats me.... I have absolutely no idea... How have I came to this conclusion?? Easy as ABC... Basic encounter with females around me... Do I like it??? You must be kidding me...

Last night I went out to have dinner with a gal pal from highschool... It was fun... in a way... Other than the lil remarks of how I'm such a F1 racer with utensils... Hidden meaning : I eat so fast..It ultimately equals ugly...
Then I foot the bill and we went to join the guys for karaoke... We arrived first... I only knew 1 of the guys as he's the boyfriend of 1 of my classmate... The rest was his and her friends... So I gave him a hug... He commented that I was better looking from secondary... And this gal pal immediately said I'm fatter than I was... I let that slip like I didn't hear it... It's fact though...And she insist though she's fat..Her doctor says she can't go on a diet cause she has gastric problems...
When it was my turn to sing.. The guys commented that I could sing... And after that.. Every song I sing.. She cuts in and completely cover my voice... I couldn't even hear what the hell was I singing...
After karaoke.. we decided to go mamak... and the guys suggested we go out again tomorrow night ( today ).. and appointed me driver... She immediately declared she would be caught dead with me driving... The guys asked her why.. And she told them that I was/am a lousy driver... Told the guys how I used 30 hours of practical before I finally took my driving test while she only used 8 hours.... She then stressed how I've never driven since I got my license... If you ask me I have no idea how many hours I have used before I took my test and I have no idea how she knows... And I certainly had no idea how she's certain I've never drive just because I've never driven her around...
And today... A friend secretly told me.. They saw her calling the guy's gf who's currently in kl.. and told her.. her bf and me was being touchy in the karaoke!!! The room was freaking cold I was shivering.. He helped warm my hands!!! I did told her I felt uncomfy and she said there's nothing to worry about!!

My day couldn't get any uglier.... What the hell did I do to her to deserve this??? WHAT THE HELL!!!!I"m gonna go for a sex change and be GAY!!! That way I could hang out with the guys as much as I want!!! and bloody ignore girls!!!

Crazy Bimbo

2006-06-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

Finally, I've became the crazy bimbo everyone always though I am.. Hohoho... A friend invited me to co-write a blog... It's suppose to be a tech blog.. But since I knew nothing of it... Absolutely NOTHING... I'm gonna interpret it my way... As always...

The blog is called... A world of 0s and 1s... Now to me... that sounds like the delicate interaction of something we all know very well of... The relationship between man and woman... Imagine 2 00 side by side and u get boobs!!! Imagine a | accompanied by 2 0 on each side.. You'll get 0|0 cock!!
And the add for the blog is... http://aworldinbinary.blogspot.com/... Even the add spells sex... A world of binary... A world based of things in pair(base 2)... Hohoho!!! Need I explain more???

Since I don't know any tech stuff... My sole purpose would be to wreck havoc and make it stench with musk of sex everywhere you look.... Well not everywhere... And I won't be honest if I say the site is ok to visit now... because even I won't step foot in there now.... Give a lil patience.. and the owner of the blog will work something out I think... Till then.... House is having a party... Everyone is welcome but you have to personally text me 1st...

Swim No More

2006-06-25T22:30:00.000+08:00

I think I'll swim no more in public pools that involves the general public!!!
I went to swim today while mom went to do her usual walking.. and guess what?? I had the worst of time.... Feel so horrid when I left...
It was fine at first... then this couple came... the bf was trying to teach the gf how to swim... how cute is that??? But apparently I'm very wrong... Super wrong sided...
In the middle of their *cough*lessons*cough* , she gave up... and they were a foot or 2 away from me.. I heard her say she doesn't want to continue.. she said she feels embaress... that I was so much thinner and I can swim (*cough*college representative can? *cough*).. it almost made me chocked my lungs out.... and the bf being all sweet telling her how he doesn't like her being so skinny like me... ( I'm not skinny can??? I"M FAT!!! SO FAT I"M OBESE!!! ) It was funny and weird... To see someone look at me and say things like that.. I think I saw her cry for this issue...
Honestly, she's not skinny.. but she's not fat ugly... she's pretty and a lil over weight... she didn't even have the courage to wear a swim suit... she wore tights and a t-shirt... maybe she has a swim suit underneath.. I don't know... I feel sad for her... Nothing to be ashame of to not wear a swim suit... Big can still be beautiful!!!
Now I feel extra horrid.... and I doubt I'd like my dreams tonight... Sob...

Church got a big ass hole in it's wall!!

2006-06-24T21:50:00.000+08:00

Going to church have always been a happy thing to me.. It's where I could "talk" to God directly with my prayers right under his roof... But today.. I don't feel too well about God's Crib... Maybe it was what his messenger the priest said... It gave me the impression church is full of prejudice and a proud body that could not admit fault if there's any...
The priest said in today's mass.. "Thank God, church had survived all these attack lately...All these people.. Liars.. Things like Da Vinci code.. Gospel of Judas.. "
It got me thinking... How has discovering the gospel of Judas became an attack on church??? If God doesn't allow men to discover the gospel of Judas.. I doubt we would even found a leaflet of it even if we dug up every inch of soil we could find on this earth... What it contain had completely smashed the ideology that Judas was a betrayer of Jesus.. No doubt to that... But church isn't just about that no???
Da Vinci code... It's just a bloody novel can??? Playboy does more damage than the novel lah!!! Nobody went and ban pornography what??? But then pornography has more commercial value than Da Vinci code hor??? My ass!!
And it has never been a suprise for issues like bisexuality and transexualism and what not have been brought to the attention that individuals like thus should return to the "right" path and repend... I felt it's hilarious to judge people based on something like their sexuality... Gay people can't do charity?? TS/TG/TV can't do good deeds?? "Normal" people can do no harm??? Even the pope is a man... and man is capable of fault no matter what race/religion/age/sexuality or background... why do we as people have to constantly group ourselves in clumps and make our differences shine like a big ass 1000watt spotlight??? Don't we all look the same inside??What is wrong with letting people be who they are when they want to as long as they cause no harm to noone??
I won't deny the fact some people with interest of their own would want to use these things to deliberately use it as negative publicity of the church... But for a man of God.. A bearer of God's word... A messenger for God... Shouldn't practice what is in the 10 commanments??? or that little rule??

"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour."

" Thou shalt not judge "???

Whom amongst us can trully say they're are 110% right on their stand?? I for one couldn't even if my life depended on it!!!
Sien I tell you... I might be further helping myself to get to hell by saying this out loud and maybe get another additional 10000000 zillion points to hell but I'm gonna say it... He's a PROUD man... and I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT HIM!!! OR ANYONE ELSE THAT HAS A MIND LIKE HIM!!! I DECLARE WAR ON PREJUDICE!!!

Happy Birthday Darren..

2006-06-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Babies and Dinosaurs... Today is a special day.. a day a lil bugger name Darran turns 3... The magical age where lil buggers start talking and forgets every piece of knowledge they have about the universe.. LOL... Say heppy birthday to Darren everyone...

Happy Birthday Darren, You're 3!!!!

PS : Don't try to kidnap my lil bugger of a cousin... He loves me.. He gave me his Mickey baby while he keeps his Minnie baby...He must know I need a boyfriend.... *grunts*

Consider Yourself being served

2006-06-09T17:25:00.000+08:00

Of all the people on my list of people most likely to be sued before me for any reason possible... My Mom got sued!!! By no other than her own..... (not me..*roll eyes*) Tenant!!
Mom and dad owns several townhouses in different district in sabah... and they rent them out because we live here?? LOL... Anyways.. She's got this house in the same town.. (in sandakan in case you have no idea) It was rented by a chinese man who is married... Well that sentence spelled wouldnotbeadisaster candidate... Hence my mom rent the house to him... It was fine and dandy at first.. but recently... They stopped paying bills.. Water and electricity racking up to one thousand ringgit.. plus rent about 3 months?? SO my mom asked them to clear the bills and move out.. and they're given a month... so now the time is up.. they paid nothing and they didn't move out.. so my mom stop the electricity and water supply to the house... and the bitch is suing her now...
Needless to say.. They're screaming at each other on both ends of the phone... And the most shocking thing is.. My mom got SUED before me???? What is going on with this world!!!! I'm suppose to get sued before everyone for things like... I don't know, maybe indecency in public or infidelity or destruction of property.. Something like that... Gee... Does this suing thing goes through the order of age too?? That sucks...

Do you need more boys in your life?

2006-06-05T15:42:00.000+08:00

Someone I thought I knew asked me, Do I need more boys in my life as it is.... Maybe I'm over reacting... Maybe I'm too sensitive... But it does offend me when a person ask me a question like that after they say I'm too horny....
I don't know about everyone.. But I'd ordered my head be cut off if something like that goes through my oral cavity...Even though it was meant for a joke or innocent truth or dare comments... It's like asking a nun or a pastor...

"Sister/Father, Do you think you need perhaps a few more Gods in your worshipping?? You seem too religious to be content with one..."

Yea, sure I'm upset.. I felt like this person is calling me a whore in disguise... Even if I AM A SLUT, It's no fun taking a steel poke and pointing it directly at me and proclaiming it out loud like it's a new testament from god or something...

So thank you!!! Thank you very much for telling me what you think of me... I suck I know... Go find yourself an angel then... I'm obviously too indecent.. I'm a slut!!!

Lim Beh's Kuching Trip!!!

2006-06-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

I went to Kuching for 4 days... It was actually found out later that it was a trip meant for my dad's bonsai hunting!!! SO boring I tell you when I have to visit gardens after gardens nurseries after nurseries filled with bonsai and landscaping.. I felt like dying... As if the very essence of living have been drained through and through.. I think I almost vowed to never step foot in kuching ever again....
Then.... I meet someone I thought I never saw in my life ever!!!! It was a person who use to play with me when I was 3... And I've never seen him since 17 years ago.... I once saw a picture of a boy with me and my sis which I don't recognize.. I thought he was some extra who tried to get a little exposure... Hahahaha... OK.. Pardon me.. He's alive!!! and He's a plant biologist!!! And... and... Mmm.... He's chinese???He's a shy nice guy.. typical second year student... Now I've got a person to blame for being so tomboy-ish when I was little... Jasper chai!!!
Kuching food is bizarre.... I won't get use to it... So I beg my dad never to move to kuching in a million zillion years... Unless by some bizarre luck I'm ordered to move to kuching by laws of the universe.. I won't think I'll survive... It'll be a slimming boot camp for me... I'll be like the stick insects' slimming ambassador!!!
There are lots of photos taken but none contain my face.. LOL... And I snapped a picture of a so called national celebrity.... I was happily snapping away at antics and artifacts on display in kuching's cultural village..

I went to the verendah of the Bidayuh house... and some people were having a photoshoot there.. they were stealing all the natives in pretty costumes.... so i went over to take a snap of them... and some pretty gongs hanging on the wall behind this so -called national celebrity... this public figure's manager or someone working for him tell me to not take any picture.. said that i'm not allowed to take picture.. I was fumming... But I didn't show it.. I simply reply her..

" I wasn't taking picture of him.. I was taking pictures of the gongs behind him.. he's blocking my view "

Everyone around me who heard us was bursting in laughters... She went quiet for a while and told me to only take pictures after this so called celebrity leave... and this celebrity is....

Kuching very own home grown celebrity indeed.... SPoiled my mood only.. Hell knows who he thinks he is!!!

Solely powered by passion

2006-05-27T00:39:00.000+08:00

Today I had a lil nonsense plan with Fub... We were cursing TNB for a blackout at my place in the afternoon.. and started thinking how cool it would be if someone blew up themain reactor and the whole country went into total darkness... and it wold be even nicer to have a rave right then and there in the streets..powered by nothing but batteries and generators... we even had the slogan figured out...

" Rave of total darkness,
Powered solely by passion!"

And we had a good laugh because we know it will never happen in malaysia....
Now... I realised something.... Passion always die out... not in a big bang.. but a teeny weeny fizzle...
I doubt there's anyone who dared say they've maintained as much passion for a object as when they started... People try and cope but life makes things change... like earth twirl and nothing stays....
It's sad... it's something like the feeling you get when you stay behind as the fireworks show ends.... and it made you realized it's nothing more than a dwindle....

Home bound

2006-05-24T00:49:00.000+08:00

I flew in from KL last sunday... It's good being home... To be in a lively city... rather than the ever so dead KL... Somebody pronounced it dead already!! Let me say that out loud...

I HATE KUALA LUMPUR!!!

Yep!!!! Life-sucking, boring, never ending, superficial sorry-lame excuse of a city!!!!

Compared to where I'm from.. It's like a grain of sand compared to something with a structure of flurerence!!!! more rigid than diamonds!!
OK.. that was well un-accounted for.... Please excuse me.. Lots of pressure mounted on me lately... Mind you I don't mean mount as involving any physical contact...

I think... this whole post is dedicated to me saying....

I'M HOME!!! AND HAPPY!!!!

Bless you this is just a filler post.. for my empty lonely blog.. T-hehehehe!!!!

Ambitions

2006-05-01T00:35:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty certain people are asked by their teachers, parents and elders of what do they want to be when they're so called "grown-up"... as much as "grown-up" means in Layman terms... I don't know about you... But I've never quite gotten a sure answer ever since that question was asked for the first time in my life.. Even now, I don't have the answer...
People say that some specially talented people.... *cough*dillusional*cough*!!! Can tell you who you're meant to be in your life... Maybe by palm reading or tarot cards.. or even by the time and date you're born on... or just by looking at your facial structure... I'm not really the believing in ancient traits kinda human being.... PLUS catholics are not allowed to emm... believe in things like this.. *cough*I'MNOTOBSSESEDLIKETHAT!!!!*cough*!!!
Because I believe that people might still lie during these highly spiritual reading sessions to...
A) Extort more money by prolonging the session.. ( 30 minutes RM10 became 4 hours RM200!!)
B) Leave out the bad bit to stop you from turning into Justin Timberlake's river in " Cry me a river "
C) Tell you nonsense just to give you a happy ending... ( Note that it's not the thailand massage parlour version of happy ending that I'm talking about...I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING BOY!!!! )
D) Still tell you nonsense ways to curb your misfortunes before they happen by extorting more money!!!!

And so on.. So forth... Hence I decided to use... my.. GOD GIVEN NAME!!!!!!! ALEXIA!!!!
( Note : though I choose that name by myself but if the name was not meant for me I would not be granted that name by Baptism...*thunder roaring loud laughter* Wahahahah!!!! )

Hence.. BEHOLD!!!!!

alexia --
[noun]:

A person who makes a living suing celebrities

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Lindane haze

2006-04-26T23:24:00.000+08:00

Walking down the streets of an unknown town like this one will never be lonely... I won't know about the rest... But you can't feel lonely at something you don't even want to take note of... that is how I see this city called KL...
For decades, people from all walks of life have been flocking here... The hopefulls turned sour... The good turned evil.. and the innocent forever lost... It's a dead city.. One built on great lies and populated by meer smoke mirrors... I wonder where does all the self claimed artist get their inspiration from... All I could get from here is something close to death yet more bleak and ever eternal..
Maybe I trully do not belong here... But others think I'm too haste in judgement over this snow globe of theirs... their pretty towers in two... shiny lights in red, blue and yellow.. maybe white too... but it all looks stained and tinted.... Lifeless and barren of imagination and dreams...

Deal me a shot of Lindane, bartender... I need some death....

Not so damsel in serious distress

2006-03-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

I feel like the scale of badluck has suddenly decended on me without prior warning or porportion.. it just swoop down and covered me in it....

For the first time of my campus life I agreed to voluntarily go play badminton with the girls in the hall.. and my necklace broke, hence the only thing my dad gave me that i could keep by my side all the time is now gone... a crystal apple pendant he bought me and my sis from our HK trip... and I didn't even realise it broke until I was happily bathing and found the chain dangling on my neck.... Not so happy after all....

The next day... I went on the ktm to wander around town in hope my mood will get better and some whore stole my phone right out of my pants.... Life is terrible for now......

Somebody give me more hugs....Never ending ones please?

Whore Day

2006-03-24T22:33:00.000+08:00

During a recent english class, the teacher ask us to practise impromtu speech.... in simple normal folk language.. she ask us to talk like we know everything in the universe and even if we don't.. try to pretend and not look like a fool with 30 pairs of eyes staring at you...and YOU ALONE!!!
So she gave us the topic of... " If I were the 3rd Malaysian Idol, I would..... "
Hence.Everyone said their concerts, cars, banglos,guys,fans, family, charity,etc etc... when it was my turn... this is what I said...

" If I were the 3rd Malaysia Idol, I would record some songs in my horiffic banshee whailling hail and sell them for USD1000 per copy, and I would act in movies of language I have never ever heard of in my life for a dollar, if those 2 move works.. I'll continue to open live concert broadcast through morse code to thank my fans out there in the world...If by unacceptable luck I suceed to beomce a millionaire I'll devote all my properties into finding a way to turn me into a Spiderwoman.. If I did become a spiderwoman.. I'll go rob a bank and maybe Fort Knox... After which I'll liquidified all my properties into cash and make a barbeque fire out of it... Lastly, I'll surely have become a beggar, I'll then spend my life wondering on the streets thinking if I weren't the 3rd Malaysian Idol........"

Don't I sound super confident, as if I know the universe like the back of my hand now???

Btw, whore stole my mobile phone on a commuter train today.... so, send me your numbers to my last known number which is 0126477796 starting next week... and could somebody donate some cash??? Need funds for new phone.... URGENT!!I'll even give you my bank acc number?Pretty please with a pink lacy ribbon on a bonnet?

Crying

2006-03-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

Nothing is more direct of an expression apart from crying your eyes out, to feel it burn and tired after you've Boo and Hoo. Yet, many find it an act of disgrace and humuliation. I found out today somethings I never knew on a sunny day. Crying isn't something anyone should be ashame of.. If you need to cry Do it... Infact, FLAUNT it.. Scream if you might... But after you do so.. YOu must tell yourself you've cried and now it's time to pick yourself up... People cry for many reasons, some might appear unreasonable to certain but it's personal to those who suffer...

I use to think that my sis and I can be safely said as aliens from different worlds...No, let me rephrase that I use to BELIEVED my sis and I are aliens from different galaxy... I use to Believed that nothing I could do would ever supress her... As if, She's a royalty, My parents king and queen, My brothers, crown princes, And I the commoner... But today. Alas, I'm proven very wrong... No matter how I turn out to be.. be it a rapist(men).. She'll always look after me..Just because I'm her lil sis...

I got my first E in my entire life today and it's on chem... many people said many things to me to comfort me... but guess not.. none of them worked... None but what my sis said...

"B dun worry concentrade on tonite exam, d chem test oledi over is ok, not yet graduate n retake! Ok bb dunt sad, sometime exam is like tat... Becareful when u ride bike ok ?later have a good dinner be4 exam, relax a bit for later exam ok, i believe my little sis can do it, if no good also nvm just try ur best later good luck ok "

Jie.. thank you for having me as your lil sis...

Cracker's dawn

2006-02-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is half way through and considered over to ppl like me... Somehow so much anticipation have turned to a disappointment.. A festival of culture specifically made for the closest of bond between man is not much a festival when your closest bond is not around... I can't say I can fully understand the feelings of those who have lost their closest bond on a festival like this.. But I guess I've tasted a pinch of their salt...

A festival is just not a celebration without those you treasure around to share it with... Civilized reunion dinner is just not my cup of tea.. I want my annual noisy Chinese round marble table with kids running around like a merry go round... I doubt I'll ever get use to big city's manner of quiet well mannered atmosphere... I want my fire crackers.. I want my noisy annoying loud conversations bouncing off walls... I want me being shake awake on the first day of Chinese new year despise I just slept half an hour ago, playing poker with my cousins with no real money as I'm not allowed... I want my yearly temple visit to where my grandfather now lies where I'm allowed to chat with him with no one listening in... I want to lay my secrets deep with him in the earth... And to feel my grandma's wrinkled hand with her in her beautiful red blouse and fine grey hair... To quiz my dad with questions of no end based on documentaries we watch on TV... To steal knick knacks from the kitchen while mom cooks foods of all colour and taste... To just lay on the floor in the living room staring into those cherry blossom branches blooming and thinking how I'll again plant them successfully to have my dad transport it to his nursery and eventually die of too much sun after the lil fella leave my hands...
Maybe the lil fella misses my morning greetings,

" Hey gorgeous.. How are ya today? Smile for me today won't ya? " hence it withered away...

Until the coming of spring again where another cherry blossom branch gets my affection again and bloom in this hot tropic humid.....

I miss home....

I'm sorry lil cherry blossom branch of this year... You don't get my affection as promised...And you'll whither away loveless...

Api Ceeena-ish Nu Yea part 2!!!

2006-01-27T20:43:00.000+08:00

Ah moi has return to edu-kitkat AV1 again... Re-swimming on last pos...

Fifi, Do not hang out ye baju outside the rumah on the fist day of Ceeena-ish Nu Yea... Ah moi do-sen know why butt aunti say so...

Sex, Do not play play wif-i ex-plot-sleeve... Not nice to hilang a hand for the rest of your live-fy right?? LIl sparky like the gopi sparky kind can play....

Jeevan, Do not kil any living thing on the fist day of Ceeena-ish Nu Yea.... In fact, Do Not Eat any meat on the fist day of Ceeena-ish Nu Yea...

Egg, ..... Ah moi ran out of stuff to not do... SO... APIIII CEEEENA-ISH NU YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS : Dear darlings of sane english and non ah moi slang... some of you have been asking me for ang pou... Not that i'm not happy to comply but I'm not married hence I can't give out angpou with actual money even if I'm willing.... SO I came up with a solution of giving you red buns with red bean paste instead.. and some of you agreed... but another problem occured~!!!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK LAH !!!!!

Api Ceeena-ish Nu Yea!!!

2006-01-26T13:33:00.000+08:00

*annoying chinese new year song blasting*
Api Ceeena-ish Nu Yea!!!!! How's everyone doing?? Ah moi ish do-en fine... Onli buried to de-ft bi boks!!!!! d reason ah moi ish spekin so ceena is becoz itsh ceena-ish nu yea mah!!!!
To-die... Ah moi will tish u all what to do and not to do on ceena-ish nu yea.... Veli im-pot-ten U know??? Else hoe year bad luck ooh!!!

Fist, No sapu sapu the house on Ceena-ish nu yea... After and before can sapu sapu lap lap a bit.....

Set-con, No crust crust ppl... Not nice.. ah pek ah mah aunty uncle will scold you say your ah ma ah ba no ajar kah??

Tit, No open angpou in front of ppl... Not nice.. Like you're checking ppl is rich or poor.. somemore the main lisen is later kena rompak mah!!!! smart sikit ah...

For-th, Must Gamble~!!!!!! Judi tao jangan tak judi!!!! Ah moi say ah Ceena-ish Nu Yea Must try luck... If no go genting neber min... go play play sikit with relatives and win their ang pou money!!!!!

Ah moi got stuff to do now.. have to go that mid valley mega mall shopping ah... see you all...resume nex time... Have a APIIIIII CEEENA_ISH NU YEA!!!!!!!!

Party Invite

2006-01-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

Hey hey hey.... I've got a black party invite from Guiness in collaboration with Nokia... I'm allowed to bring a friend and it has only 500 place.... tell me quick if you want 1... It's at kl Zouk at 21st Jan.... Have good drunk fun~!!!! It's a Heineken event~!!!

Wahahahaha!!!!! If you're wondering if I'll be there..well... I kinda sorta have a ang pou feast on the same day on campus that I'm kinda sorta involved in... but might be able to sneak....fingers crossed.... Love ya guys...

Wifi gonna cost me RM100 a sem soon.... and i'm literally burried by notes and class and work.... Die die die......

Campus upwake

2005-12-29T14:53:00.000+08:00

I'm back in UKM... safely and boringly... but hey guess what? at least my hostel is now bearable... The rest of UKM is having water shortage but thanks to the new water system we have.. we are the only hostel with abundant water.. and now we have wifi in the adminstrative building, with more time we'll have it in our rooms.. and my days of terrorising people online will be back again... hahahaha...
So look sharp... I'll be online 24/7 soon.... Miss you all... I'm boringly coped up in the first aid ward...

Happy new year... and my new year resolution would be.... TO ATTRACT AS MUCH PERVERTS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!!!!!

Pulling out from the driveway

2005-12-23T00:51:00.000+08:00

I walked into her room and talked to her, telling her I'll be leaving again for what seems like a long time to both of us.. She lay in bed listening and put on a smile so it would be easy...not to look too gloom... I told her I'd be leaving sooner to finish my business.. she just layed there saying she won't see me off... I know it's not that she didn't want to.. she just can't.. she's not like she use to be.. Where she'll take me everywhere she goes... only slowed down for me to keep up...that was a long time ago when I'm still trying to keep from falling or tumbling down the drains...
I took my bag and load it in the back... I put on my shoes... I did not see her anywhere near... But as the car starts up.. she stood in the doorway.. leaning on one side of the doorway with eyes so sorrow... I'm glad it did not became a picture I'd forever owned... It's painful to see her as if she has no capacity to smile no more... and it brings tears to remember vividly how she looks like as I pull away......

City Hopping

2005-12-21T00:09:00.000+08:00

Woo... Am venue hopping this week... Hehe... As most of people who did paid attention know.. I'm in Kota Kinabalu until this Thursday... And I'm having some fun...
Staying at relatives.. But it did not deter the club hopping... Hahaha... That's what happen when you have cousins like mine... Crazy people with crazy visions...
If anyone is ever in Kota Kinabalu,Sabah these days... Check out some of my all time favorites spots... For clubs.. if you enjoy full heart beat realignments by Bass... Hop over to Bed at the waterfront... If you like beaches... Go over to Tanjung Aru... there's only 1 club there.. you can't miss it.. it has a dancefloor right next to the beach... and it's open area... Fun fun fun.....
Food is always nice... and if you're favourite is jap food like me... Well... Go over to the oldest and best in town... They really have the words "oldest and bestest" printed on their napkins... It's called Ishikin..in the midst of Gaya Street... Nice food...
As for movies.. There's a new cinema in town.. I doubt everyone heard of it though they have branches not so widely spreaded throughout Malaysia.. It's called Mega Pavillion... I think their design is quite appealing to the youth...They still have their GSC and some other cinema stashed in a shopping mall as always....

As for me... I'm ready to go bed and get some real sleep where nobody watch me like a hawk because my dreadful cousin ask them to watch me...and most importantly... They don't ask me every 5 minutes where am I going or what am I up to... Really felt like I have 2 king kong looking out for me... BAD bad!!!!!!

Cheers...Be back in town(home) on 24th... be back at school 26th.... All happening in the month of December.. Perfect ending to the year 2005....

Blast Off~!!!!

2005-12-16T01:40:00.000+08:00

Whoo...I'm flying off to a known unpleasent city due to personal reasons related to not so immediat family matter in roughly 10 hours... And I'm still awake.. Not sleepy.. and not packed~!!!
Let me repeat that.. NOT PACKED~!!!!!
How am I gonna die tomorrow? God knows.. Hopefully I'll wake up in time for the flight... Which would be a problem if I haven't pack.. Wahahaha....

To contact me or in other words.. Save me from boredom... Beep me on my cell and hope that I didn't lost any of your numbers when I changed my number for numerous times..

Well, now we all know how much I wanted to go on that plane.... Enough said.. Will be back after a week... and then fly off to campus after 2 days from that date... and it's hibernation for me again... No wi-fi.. NO connection in rooms.. NO after midnight cafe... NO ACCEPTABLE FOOD..... NO HOME COOK MEALS.... SOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll go throw myself against some train tracks now... Thank you for knowing you guys.... Cheers!!!!! and remember.. no one bloody wear black or white to my funeral...

A day of taste

2005-12-12T21:44:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 9 and 11... Hahaha... But the day ain't wasted... In fact it's filled with a mixture of taste... Had lunch/breakfast at pizza hut trying their new products... and believe it or not.. It is good...
Since I went with Judy... We decided on the Mediterranean Set 1 for 2.. Which includes a regular Moroccan pizza, 4 sticks of pamesan bread, 2 Pepsi, 2 mushroom soup, casablanca spin rolls and Spanish tortilla chips. All for Rm 29.90....
I upgraded one of the soups to a puff pastry soup by adding RM 1.... They only had tomato so I had that one... Almost everyone who knew me well know how I treat tomatoes.. Haha... so you can imagine my reaction to a tomato soup... But guess what?? I like this one very much... Gotta give them a 5 out of 5 for making that happen... My stomach is mighty proud of me for finishing it all by myself... and all intruding spoons were block off!!!!And I wasn't really hungry as suggested by somebody*cough*Seth*cough*..
Next the Spanish tortilla chips.. I can only use 1 word... "YUMMY".... Nice crisp chips with sauce that taste like spaghetti... Do finish it quick before it cools down... Which is unlikely.. Once you had one you'd be grabbing... That another 5 out of 5!!!!!!
Next up.. The casabanca spin rolls... Emm... not so great... Needs more crunchy onions bits in my opinion... Hehe... But all in all... some of you might like it more than I do... It gets a 3 out of 5....And it taste like our local curry puffs without the thick flour exterior.... More crunchy onion bits make it good... Do listen to me...
The Moroccan pizza.... I do not ever wanna put anything similar to that pizza in my mouth ever again.... It's a -5 out of 5... It owes me 5 stars...

So do head over and try the new stuff... It's nice... If you ask me.. the flaw might be... There's too much food for 2 person/girls.... You should most probably get 3/4 person for that meal of ideal 2... Cheers~!!!

I didn't try their Greek Moussaka... Cheese and eggplant should not mix.... and adding tomatoes to it should be a sin!!!!! See... I do hate tomatoes...

I do have pictures taken... but in my phone.. Beep me within 3 days from deletion if you're that desperate for them...

and ooh... Late addition.. if I'm ever a monster.. I'll be called.....

Your Monster Profile

Omega Giant

You Feast On: Lasanga

You Lurk Around In: The Alamo

You Especially Like to Torment: Vegans

What's Your Monster Name?

Fakey Barbiedoll world

2005-12-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

Dee dee dum..... I know I've blog a little of Miss World 2005 yesterday or should I say after midnight but I'm just very tempted to say more on how ridiculously fake it is....
They were showing some short moments of what the candidates did in china during their 1 month visit there... And I believe if my eyes and memory did not fail me.. It was Miss Puerto Rico.. The second runner up to Miss World 2005 that said..

" We have to protect what's left in the world..."

immediately you see candidates wearing fur or mink or coats or whatever they call them.. I call them dead animal... Or The reason why more animals are orphans.... Not funny... I know it's way too early for me to be sounding like some animal activist before I even get into second semester but... It's how fake they are that bugs me.... If you like fur "Say it" and "Spray it" if ya have to.. Like J.lo... The most irritating part comes when they were asked questions.... Can we hear " World Peace " in every answer?? Maybe not the exact number but certainly the message...F*ckers....I meant... Fakers....

I have no idea who won this year's Donald trumps lil beauty pageant but I'm certain it's not someone from Asia-Pacific... and the way they pick this year kinda reminds me of the time how cavemen divide their meat... 5 ribs from this deer and 5 ribs from that skunk... and we see which rib taste better... and to make it all fair... We'll have the deers and skunks be the judges... Dang weird.... and damn fake...

On the other note... Plant gained weight!!!! But not a bad thing.. At least the population of stick insects among men are lessen by 1...gagaga... Cheers~

Gee.. I've got crazy friends..

2005-12-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

I was wake today at very early morning to get out of my bed and get ready for a lil BBQ night with everyone... still sleeping I just mumbled my usual yes and leave me alone...
After church.. I went...2 hours late too.. hahaha... But noone killed me or anything... everyone said I look like a jap.. or a doll... weird...
Well after we burnt every piece of meat we attempted or over cooked them.. we sat down around the living room and became the panel of judges from malaysia for Miss world 2005... *laughs* Some candidates were really scary looking... Miss congo for example... and 1 looked like oprah in her 20's....Scary~!!! Well we had our fun... simon cowell looked so innocent compared to us... and miss africa is actually pure indian.. CHEAT!! Syed was cheering for all the indian candidates but none of them went into the semifinals.. so we cheered.. hahaha.. Miss Korea is really clueless of what happens around her.. but she's now Miss Asia-Pacific.. Hooray to her...
Since we were going crazy.. Iza, Mimi, Syed, Syam and me did our crazy picture taking... Imagine 5 people in 1 couch meant for 2.... Crazy!!!!! I was in between Syam and Syed... both my legs on Syam's lap.. and my back leaning on Syed... While Izah and Mimi sat right in front of me... and everybody had fun posing and waving like Miss World.. hahaha... Syam called me the royal pain in the ass..( my feet on his lap...) hahaha... I'm held responsible for the well being of his jeans just because of that.. hahaha...
It was pure crazy fun... and plain zainy... we actually talked sitting in the middle of the road... and am still wondering why nobody got killed... it was a fairly busy street... :P....
Most importantly... that 1 guy who always try to lay his hands on me... didn't come near... Last I heard from them.. He's on titanic with his current gf... Hooray for me!!! I dislike guys with octopus hands... we dubbed him Sotong hands...
Cheers everyone... *cough cough* still coughing... hehe....

Ps : Izah.. Syed.. Syam.. Mimi... Since miss congo did not even went into the semi finals.. I don't need to lodge myself into Miss world for 2006!!!! :P *chuckles*

Library tripped

2005-12-09T20:55:00.000+08:00

Went to the local library today... and it has seriously tripped and fell on itself since the last time I've visited... ceilling leaking and stuff... big hole in the ceilling.... Scary.. how did they let a library become that building that feels like cheese to be... a LOT of holes...
Well... the view is still so very nice from it's big windows looking into the ocean and port.... Beep me for the pictures if ya wanna see.. it's on my phone lar....
And I'm in luck too... they are having a photo exhibition... the 5th sabah international exhibition of photography... And the winners were from US, singapore and malaysia and in that order too... took pictures of those I liked...I don't like the winning photos though.. Weird.... Same.. beep me for the pictures... If ya fancy....

Life's not so bleak now I'm still coughing and unable to swim...
Hohoho... I like this time of the year.. christmas carol ringing on the internet radio..... Someday... I'll live in europe... when I have the right reason.... and the right time...

And special message to eddie or Vc... Not vice chansellor in his dreams or real life.... stop being so cheeky with ya laughs.. I know you're my future boss and owner of cheekycube.com.... BLER.. :P

And heres something cheeky from me....

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,123,950

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

For you Anew

2005-12-08T01:01:00.000+08:00

I took note of what you said... Maybe you are right... I shouldn't give anyone a chance to get a better chance of breaking what I hold dear... But I'm just stubborn like that... He's gotta break me to pieces and make me sink in a bottomless pit.. It's only then do I know to let go with no regret.. That I've tried and it just won't work... Yea.. I guess I'm just idioctically hopefull....

I do still believe maybe I'm deported from my home planet at birth....where things do make sense....even in a non-parallel universe.... If my alien parents are monitoring.. I wanna go home now... Earth is totally clashing with my cosmis signs....

Come get me....

Still sick...

2005-12-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Yea.. Fever's all gone.. but.. coughs are unbearable.. I wake up in the middle of the night coughing like nobody's business... Eek.... I hate coughing... makes it difficult to have what lil oxygen I can breath in actually go into my blood stream... I miss my sweet slumber days.. no nightmares.. no coughing.. no flu.. no fever...
Seem to be getting nightmares as of late... Maybe the sickness... Maybe just plain un-zenny... Something must be right.. I am having dreams.. Bad dreams are still dreams regardless.... *cough cough*

I'll be super spreading sickness as I can.. Hahahaha... It's fun to have some company when you're sick without having to worry you'll infect someone...
Gonna have to hit the floor tonight.. shawn hijacked my bed.. cham.... Sick patient have to sleep on the cold hard floor.. Cruel ah you all... curse me to this... :P

Revenging remarks

2005-12-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

I'm sick...due to some rain.. no suprise.. not much of a voice...
Results out... I only got a 2.94... dang... No 3.0.. no full credit hours... guess I have to appeal for at least 2 more credit hours.. then it won't be so bad...
Sad part is... how do I managed to be given a C- on 1 of the subject when other related subjects I get As??? Result of my remark on those professors I guess... They don't like ppl saying they can't teach?? Or letting us get our good results with us saying they are bad teachers just doesn't work out in logical terms?? No idea... Ol.. well.. *sneeze* *cough cough cough* sick.... eee....

Ask bb nonsense

2005-12-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

When people tend to ask me nonsense I tend to answer them seriously.. It's not that I'm whacked.. it just makes looking at their undoubtful faces amusing... Really amussing...

J : ah b... *in a sad puppy dog voice/face/eyes*
me : what?? what part of you need help now??
J : The heart is broken....
Me : emm.. according to my memory... you have claimed to have your heart broken more than once since I've return to town which is 1 month time... how many hearts do you own anyway???
J : I'm serious!!! I'm really heart broken this time...
Me : and it amazes me you're so alive and kicking and punching to tell me you're "seriously" heart broken... No tears ah? no puffy eyes? no black circles? no eye bags?? no slash mark?? no nothing???
J : heart broken doesn't need such serious effect in one's life...
Me : then why are you here looking at me with sad puppy dogs eyes in the first place???
J : mm.. nvm.. just help me... please???
Me: *chuckles* ok lor... what can I do for you as ur humble servant..??
J : It's gonna be her birthday soon.. she doesn't like flowers.. but I still wanna get her some because I thought that no girl hate flowers.. but she threw them at me and won't talk to me....
Me : Hahahahaha... Ok.. sorry but.. it's funny...
J : ....... talk lar woman...and laugh later would ya??
Me : True... no matter if a girl is allergic to flowers like mua... nobody bloody hate flowers... you just did not get the right kind of flowers.. thats why she threw it in your face lar...
J : abo how???
Me : try simple flowers.. like daisies/sunflowers... not roses please...
J : ooh... so even you'd like it if someone you're utterly mad at is standing in front of ya with a bunch of nice simple flowers..??
Me : yes.. now leave me to my work... and don't ask me anymore nonsense... or I'll slap your face across my designs and billboard you as a stalker...
J : another question...?
Me : ... quick!!!!
J : But you're allergic to flowers wor????
Me : So? stop quacking into my business... I still do like flowers.. a whole bunch... and I won't mind getting them as presents.... given not horrendous roses...
J : Oh.. ok... going now... keep your fire breathing skill under control for a wee bit more and keep my face off the stalker list.....
Me : gladly... -___-....

Predictions for blogsphere

2005-11-29T23:37:00.000+08:00

Hemm.. It has come to my attention that another oldtime favourite blogger have been under attack and am in serious major national ministers involved trouble.. The owner of sixseal.blogspot.com or known as Huai Bin is in trouble for his normal dosage of drugs related posts.. In these posts which I have seen a few since I don't normally stick to reading the same blog every day... HB lay out all that you need to know about the drug of the day... To people who are curious it served great entertainment.. to people who am use to the game can brag they're in the same sport as HB.. to ppl not interested it made them much more certain they would never touch drugs... But after the Malaysian paper found them... I.e Metro.... It became a disaster...

Ok.. so lesson learnt is to never slap your own face anywhere close in a picture where drugs/anything against the law are related and post it for all to see.. Though you have the freedom of speech...including to post/act to further simplify what you're trying to say... It is bloody not safe to speak online no more!!! Especially when you're in Malaysia....
Second lesson to be learn here is to... Never speak openly about any issue no matter what opinion you have and which side it will appear to side!!! Try remembering when Xiaxue or miss Wendy was bombarded for the handicapped toilet issue... Not siding her but still... It proves silence is lamb... and lamb is delicious... *laughs* ok that was totally not related but still... Silence is gold... Keep your opinion to yourselves until someone started the bloody topic... nobody bombarded the people who comment after she posted her post did they??? *beam beam*

Predictions for the future blogsphere of Malaysia+ Singapore... We're so gonna be watched like bloody chicks by eagles/hawks*cough*government*cough*media*cough* all the way till it dies out like ICQ.. which took quite a few years.. So... Just keep your opinion to yourself and post everything fake until the blogsphere drop out of main stream entertainment...

Itching for it

2005-11-28T17:27:00.000+08:00

I've been under heavy attack by insects and woke up with bites all over.. so the itch... in the midst of itching... I've been offered a business proposal... to design for a friend.. I'll be doing the design from t-shirt to cups and everything.. and he'll market it online... I decided to accept and now the project is underway.. will be a good 3 weeks till the site opens... still deciding on a domain name.... pray for us?? Hahaha...and do pay to us by buying 1 or 3??
On the other hand.. I got the weirdest comment with good intetions today...

Ck.. " you got a nice nose.."

I know he means the best but.. it is the weirdest compliment I've heard thus far of my life... Nose????

Into the deep blue

2005-11-25T14:07:00.000+08:00

I seem to be coming up with several originals lately.. observe...

" I don't look like a kid.. I just have a young facial arrangement "

" Sometimes people need to be left in their sinking motion into the deep blue to know what they actually want out of life.."

" What's the point of looking for missing letters when you're not on the same page?"

Bleh... astonishing... considering of going on holiday and starting a secret blog somewhere... ran out of ideas for this 1... and I think my secret thoughts would scare most of you...Have a good day...

Sneezing Marathon

2005-11-24T16:16:00.000+08:00

Evil!!!!! I tell ya... Been sneezing like nobody's busines... I think I'm getting sick...

On the mean time.. I came to realise I have a whole event that's gonna kick off in my dorm in a short time and yet I've failed to produce any progress for the first holiday meeting at the end of this month... OMG>.<... I'm so gonna get killed... Script not even written or thought through... Games/activities/programmes not decided... Ok.. Somebody please kidnap me before my Boss finds out... I do believe I'll be in much safer hands... Cracking your brain in the midst of feeling sick is no fun.. espeacially when it involves bloody mandarin..... die die...

And I've came to realise I migh have lost the contacts of my fellow bosses.... Ops... It's time to rummage through the bins?? Somebody just do the honours and cut me open!!!!

Nekkid names

2005-11-23T00:42:00.000+08:00

Whee... I'm so bored.. I went around forcing ppl to give me a nickname.. ok.. some volunteered...

Aldrin- Lexy* ooh I like *
Anew- Feary* I know the double meaning!!!! *
Silver - Can't be bothered * why so kind *
Seanna - Mistress of evil * why so blunt *
Seth.frostheart - Screamer *........ O.o... I never screamed at you?!?! *
Zeni - About blankness * thats the first thing he remembers everytime I pop up...-__-*

Some I can't get it out of them... Nub refuse to.. said he can't think of any.... EEE... Fub is as usual MIA... and this question have been rated as very hard once again like my other quizes.. *laughs*
Try getting ppl to give you a nickname.. it's fun... hahaha...

Monster attack!!!

2005-11-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

It has came to my horror and amusement that.. there's reported incident of monster attacking our blogs and various website... and there are eye witness that went into total shock when expose to the incidents.. below are images that support statement released... bear in mind that a good number of blogs/websites owners have no clue of this incident affecting them directly or indirectly.. those with a weak heart are advise to not see them....
Owner of this blog have been reported stating this statement after being revealed to the nature of the attacking.. " OMG... O.0... "

While other blogs owner still has no clue of what had/been hitting them...

Famous and regularly used websites have also been reported to be under attack at one point of our report...

While some commercial websites are being hit by the monster without any sign of compassion or mercy.. It seems that some sites have managed to hide the attack very well..below is the famous site Adultfriendfinder that have been able to do so...

My own site have too suffered damage..

Hopefully this report will arrise awareness of what dangers there is on the internet and anything can happen as the saying goes..

"Nothing is impossible when Alex is in a destructive mood"

Sweet Lies

2005-11-19T23:12:00.000+08:00

Went shopping today with a junior a year or 2 younger than me... And we went around an area.. looking at stuff... Meet some people I know.. they all have the same reaction...

" Alex.. is that you? I barely recognize you.. you're so much more prettier and thinner.. "

APA ni... I'm so NOT thinner or prettier... you guys invented a new way to mock me while I'm gone ah?? *sweat*
Leave me alone ah... I'm so not happy with the comments... but that was just the beginning... Later at night.... I was at a silver jubilee dinner for a nun... Nice looking short lady... There's this guy named Christopher.. a friend of Leon.. but much older.. He strike up a lot of small talk... and suddenly he noticed my necklace/that big cross I wear... Actually I think he noticed my boobs... it was at the same eye level... He said I shouldn't wear such a big cross in kl..

"PEOPLE ARE SO MUCH MORE SENSITIVE IN KL...THEY'LL THINK YOU ARE MOCKING THEM.." he said. He also said, " I know.. I'M A TRAVELER..."

Beh... even with such a big cross I still feel things... imagine anything smaller.... I won't wear it if I don't need to... but I'm too lazy to explain... and the most annoying thing is.. Every time he turned my way... He gives a big shock expression... Do not use the word smitten... It's like he'd seen ghost... and the whole night he kept trying to make ppl talk to him... with jokes and stuff....
Not everyone like to chatter dude.. leave my incomplete mind alone...

The lion is back...

2005-11-16T20:26:00.000+08:00

Leon is back from his trip to shanghai.. gifts for all.. he bought me a handbag.. how lovely.. i have to say that... it's a gesture.. Hahahaha... Well.. grandma is here...
As leon is back.. competition rises up.. hence you'll see less of me online...
I noticed that someone have adopted a hamster... Hahahaha.. I am contagious... Have fun with your pet hamster plant...
And about the previous post... i see that some ppl took notice.. don't worry.. I'm fair.. I'll write you all 1... soon....
That's it... not in the mood to talk long...

StereoLoud.L

2005-11-14T23:50:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I made a good post about someone... And I think it's only fair I give emm credit instead of all the not so good post he's been dubbed with...
He's not your usual hardcore/extreme/egopowered kinda guy that's just a snob all the time... though he appear like one... and he does appear a lil angst all the time...and moody when he's bumped... or just plain stoned when he's tired... OK!!!!!... I was here for a nice complimenting/thankyou post..(gotta remind myself that) *chuckles*
Back to the story... I remembered I was sick once... in the middle of the week I think.. Really sick.. It was when the haze hit kl this year... really bad haze.. and doing worst to my health given we never have haze in sabah...( a lot of friendly trees not like concrete ridden kl... )He stayed up all night.. just looking after me... placing a cold towel on my forehead and try to keep it there as I'll just take it off...... I knew because when I occasionally wake up from the heat I could see him trying not to doze off... it was funny seeing him looking straight ahead trying not to doze off...
Distance was never a problem for him to show he care.. Imagine driving over hills and mountains to get me and driving all the way back to kl just because I was sick in camp...not to mention the hiking he needs to do to get to me.. in the middle of a forest reserve.. I personally thinks that's the hardest exercise he ever did for a while... *laughs*
For your information.. I'm terrified of thunders and lightning.. I'd hide my 20 year old self under blankets and pillows to get away from them... If I was driving and a thunder flashed.. I seriously hope for your safety you're not in the car with me..The next thing ya know it might be off the road and down that valley.... He would be my shield against thunders and lightning..telling me it's ok... he's around...and he'll hide me in his embrace...yea.. he's "diamond" like that.. and don't ya all try to steal him away... admiration from a fair distant is allowed though...
Among all the other things he did for me( if I listed more I think he'll blush)..and trying not to sound like smegul(spelling provided by silver) in LOTR... He's my precious... and he's loud in his affection... though sometimes I don't get him nor does he get me... He seem to be my bundle of problems I want to sort out for the first time....and I found him myself...

Of course I'm beaming.. what can I do? I'm proud!!!

Sneaking affections

2005-11-13T15:46:00.000+08:00

Another rainy day where I wake up at noon and ate lunch for breakfast. It's pretty amusing sometimes how dad shows their affection.. how bout travelling many miles to buy 2 kilos of what you like most at a scary price?? Yea.. my dad rocks... and people wonder why I've always never say no to what my dad ask of me... It's not the money, it's not the rocks or the property.. or the fantastic trips he would start us on... but the little things he does for us(me)... He likes to sayang us in sneak... Hohoho.. and he thought we won't know... Daddy.. we have your intelligence lar.. how to ignore the fact?? Plus mom gives you away.... Hehehe...
Every girl is into fashion be it a tomboy or a barbie doll.. there's still fashion sense... Guess what? My dad watches fashion shows with me...and we'd have our own opinions on how unwearable the clothes(cloths) are... Lol... yea it's weird like that...and I'd endure watching badminton with him.. It's because the same person(china) always win so I grew bored watching hence "endure"...
I use to remember when I was little I'd get sick always and it's always something profoundly deadly to a kid... At night dad would put my crib next to his side of the bed...instead of mom's side though the air-con is dead at me... not that it matters.. yours truly was having a deadly fever... Being a kid the only thing you know how to do is cry when you're at discomfort.. not the loud boo-ing cry but quiet sniffs and sobs as I slumber... I'd have weird dreams of all sorts... and sometimes I'd feel a big warm hand on my forehead...
When kids are given shots.. the doctors give it to ya not in the arm but in your buttocks... And I for one is terrified of needles at that age... I would have cried before the doctor actually went near me... and daddy would hold me... and till this day.. I'm still not so keen with needles... but I survive.. only because I've been poked so many times so many places I kinda got use to it... try getting poked by a needle every week for blood test...brings back shivers thinking about it...
Dads are great generals that like to sneak a muffin into your seemingly tasteless diets... though they don't like to show it(ok some of them do..) doesn't mean they don't care... I've seen absolutely tough uncles who boil and shout in front of his kids but I've seen better sides of them when they buy stuff for their kids such as food and go " my daughter/son likes them a lot " with a certain glow... Dads might not know to buy use things we like without us telling them we like/want it... but they remember things like food,tv shows,interests.... that's how dads are...They care in absolute sneak...

That's how my dad is... how's yours??

Comments gone

2005-11-12T19:34:00.000+08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

As you can clearly see my commnets are gone.. so feel free to emm.. write them again?? i kinda haven't seen all of them...

Oh.. I'm a nerd...

2005-11-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

According to this which I rip off from Fub's which he rip off from knight's.. I'm nerdier than most nerd who took the test!!! Hence... If I was trying at some point of my life to convince anyone I wasn't a nerd.. I've been proven wrong.. but If I was trying to prove I'm a nerd then.. here you have it folks.. I am a nerd...

Hush.. the nerd is working on a drawing dued... very very very long time ago...

Starting a farm-Myway

2005-11-10T21:44:00.000+08:00

As you can clearly see.. I have a blue duck and a purple pig in the blog with corky names and unhealthy colours.. found it on someone else's blog.. give it a try.. it's cute and funny.. the duck's head can turn all the way round if you cruise your mouse on it in a circle.. How do your normal duck fair to that??? Hahahaha.. I thought so.. the pig's head actually looked like a fan if it turn all the way... can your ham provider do that??? Hahahah.. Plus they come in colours you like... so DO start farming.. it's something idiotic and a sure way to waste 10 seconds off you're overly abundant and critically activity lacking time... Cheers...

The puzzle I was working on bugged me...

Boobs or Ass?

2005-11-09T00:51:00.000+08:00

Yes.. You've seen right.. I've been so bored I've go around asking boys/men the age old question with ifs included.... and they said the question was tough on them...

First I'd begin...

You'd go for a girl with boobs or ass??

Guys :
Frost - a girl with no ass is more horrible than a girl with no boobs.. Ass
Silver - ASS!! but first I'll look at the smile and the eyes...
Zen - Boobs.. And I'm not that pedophilia...
Xiong - Definitely boobs...*face turned bright red* why do you wanna ask me jie???
Supercow - Boobs.. What kind of question is this??
Taste - eh?... I would like my girl with complete package of course...If missing a boob or an ass I would worried.. ( after I said just pick 1... Or what turn him on more... )well obviously the boobs first because they are the first things that your eyes will come in contact with..unless you're looking at them from behind.. but ussually it's the boobs...
Aldrin - Boobs...
Nub - one between the two? can't I pick either?( pick 1) Buttocks...
Denster - I have to pick either?? (pick 1..) Okie.. the first option..
Plant - Boob.. eh why ask this kind of question??
Ckever - Boob.. Maybe not big but a nice size will do....
Anew - ass...

Okie... second question...

pretty girl without boob/ass or ugly girl with boob/ass?

Frost - Looks matter...
Silver - pretty girl then..
Zen - I would go for pretty girl with no boobs~
Xiong - Pretty gurl..
Supercow - pretty girl...
Taste - god..thats a hard one..but usually it depends on which position you are during sex. if she tries to do the mammary sandwich on you, then it doesn't matter much if she's pretty or not, but if you're doing the missionary, then obviously the pretty one would be important.. ( OEI.. just pick 1 lar) However since we're on the topic of turns you on, instead of just who would you spend eternity with, I would probably go with the boobs because big boobs are the real turn on and not the face no matter what they say. ( ok.. )
Aldrin- Pretty girl..
Nub - ... ass is not compulsory( pick 1 lar) first one then...
Denster - 1st option
Plant - pretty girl with boob?( answer 1 ) already did ( pick from my options lah )okie.. pretty girl without boob
Ckever - pretty girl then
Anew - Ugly girl with Ass..

3rd question...

Pretty girl with no boob/ass/brains or ugly girl with boob/ass and brains?
(Pretty girl with no boob/ass but brain or ugly girl with boob/ass but brains)

Frost- Looks still matter...
Silver - Pretty girl....
Zen - Hemm.. that's a tough question... (take your time) Ugly girl with all 3...
Xiong - Ugly girl now..
Supercow - Ugly girl..
Taste - but ugly depends on how ugly also, there is a limit to just what a plastic bag can do...cos like if shes THAT ugly that it etches a scar into your psyche.. then you can't get turn on anyway more..(taste..) however if she was pretty.. you could make imaginary boobs when you do the vertical shift alone lar..okok boobs rock. not big, but nice one i mean.. end of story.( taste could you stay focus and answer me? ) ok ok.. what's the question??( repeated question) Hemm.. this is tricky.. does the pretty one with brain also means intellectual? and is quite eloquent with her speech?( emm.. brains= intellect) hmm.. but then again.. it's quite a turn on sometimes when u have the no brainer with big boobs.. they tend to listen to you more willingly..again, if it's not spend with the eternity question i'd go with the big boobs one..( so it's the ugly with with boobs 1? ) not that ugly lar..lets's just say average ok? ( no it's ugly.. Not average) my perception of ugly is like.. most girls in Malaysia.. argh.. nvm boobs.. plastic bag will solve it I think... ( at this point.. Zen spilt his drink listening... and I'm on the verge to kill someone.. )
Aldrin - ugly girl...
Nub - I don't really mind whichever... really..( pick 1 or it won't be a question) but that's like me asking you pink shirt or yellow skirt with frills.. ( I'll go yellow) with frills? (yes.. ei answer the question lar) Wow.. You've changed.. ok lar.. I'll pick the ugly with both..
Denster - 2nd option
Plant - trouble in your mind??(nolah...) ugly girl with boob and brain
Ckever - Ugly girl...
Anew - Ass is the most important.. everything else doesn't change the verdict... (ok..)

Last question...

Pretty girl with no brain/boobs/money or ugly girl with all?
Pretty girl with no boobs/ brain but money or ugly girl with boob brains but money?

Frost - Ugly girl then...
Silver - Pretty girl...
Zen - Pretty girl with no brain/boob/money..
Xiong - Pretty girl..
Supercow - Ugly girl with brain...
Taste - when you say no boos.. you refer to her as purely flat ( yes.. I mean flat) or small lumps that might pass off as something? is she like young? lolicon type? ( zen : think "papan notis" me : think landing strip)ok.. when it comes to money.. money always wins though.. It's the pretty girl with money~!!( after zen gave him a look at ugly and pretty and the boob and no boob.. he finally settled down and gave me some answers without so much yadda..and we started over where it has been summarized below.. )
Aldrin - the girl with brains...
Nub - still the ugly one .. pink kirby or pink strawberry ice cream? ( what's the difference?)
Denster - 2nd option
Plant - girl with boob and brain but no money..( ugly girl?) yea..
Ckever - not the girl with money..but everything else
Anew - I told ya.. Ass or nothing else...

And here's a summary of the above.. in the order of importance to the gentlemen *cough* shallow chatter*cough* above... there are 2 other people I tried to ask but they were umm.. n/a in their own sense.. As for fub... not that I don't want to ask him.. but he was not around.. so fub.. answer these questions anyway you fancy in the comments.. Thank you~!!

Frost - money face ass(he insist I put it boob next to ass),brain
Silver- face ass brain money
Zeni - brain face boob money
Xiong- face brain money boob
Supercow - brain face boob money
Lancelot - not available
Taste - money face boob brains
Aldrin -brain face boob money
Nub - ass brains money face
C-fu - too high(mighty) or busy wanking to talk
Denster -brains face boob money
Plant -brain face boob money
Ckever - brain face boob money
Anew - Ass over face/brains/money

How fun.. we should do this more often... *laughs* maybe the girls next time...

November Christmas

2005-11-06T20:06:00.000+08:00

As I'm happily greedily and willingly sucking away.. hohoho.. I wish Christmas is soon...It's just second nature to suck.. Remember when you're born.. You suck for milk... When you're growing up.. You suck for treats... When you're all grown up.. You suck for... Well.. We all know what I'm sucking for... Hehehe..can't say the same about you though..

NO this is not a dirty post...

Happily still sucking on it... I'm just gonna say how happy Christmas time can be.. There's so much fun especially on sucking... we have lollipops.. though we have them all year round.. but it's Christmas so that makes it automatically special... we suck on a straw for soda pops.. sprites.. coke.. or whatever you want...

So here I am.. in almost the middle of November.. sucking greedily on the long thing..wish it was way thicker...and it taste so fine...making my saliva flow just thinking about it all the other times I don't have it...and how it drives me crazy when I have it...Sliding in and out of my mouth.. All coated with my saliva... Mmmmm....
Alright fine.. this is just a post to make me feel less guilty about sucking on a candy cane before Christmas is even near... Boo...What else do you think I'm sucking on???

I'll "DOUBLE" my swimming to make up for it then... Well.. now I'm sulking...

Faulty Connectors

2005-11-05T01:31:00.000+08:00

I was taught communication is everything in anything.. And I do believe in it..Without good or decent communication you get no where regardless of what you're trying to do...Even the slightest effort of communicating gets you somewhere if not nowhere..
But sometimes... It just doesn't work... to the extent it makes you wonder have you done anything right in the past gazillion tryouts...
I guess I just want to say... I know it's not easy to really understand someone and be with them... I'm trying but it seems I'm doing a very lousy job at it... As if everything I try to do to make it more simple and less destructive, is turning into lil monster that will come around and bite me in the behind...Maybe I'm just too "little" to handle this sort of situation properly..
Seriously I don't know... I don't understand why it's ok for him to do "white lies" and it's not ok if I did it... Fine if you say because he cares a great deal.. don't you think I care? why else would I want to lessen his worries in the first place?

I don't understand...

C A B Vs. KNS

2005-11-03T19:22:00.000+08:00

Not that I don't like to talk to people.. But I certainly don't like to be bugged with the moronic function called "Nudge" on msn invented by I don't know who but I'd hope he'd be cursed for the rest of his/her life for every few minutes or when I failed to respond to his lines of nonsense which he somehow miraculously manage to type out just by using a few seconds. *takes deep breath*
That I admit is too much of a mouthful but it needs to be out.. Sorry for your wasted eyesight and neuron transmission... But I'm just a tad moved in the wrong way by these boy... he's one of those juniors who chase after my pants(instead of skirt because I seldom horrifiedly wore them) for years.. and I turned him down and I thought he have move on.. But now.. despise knowing I'm N/A.. He yalks like a non-stop parrot who just have it's beak reattached after 3 months... I won't mind if it was something that makes sense but it's all stupid/useless/nonsense/crybaby/arrogant nicknacks... where he boost how well he is doing or how cool his college life is compared to my sucky uni life which I STILL have very much hope on... Hence.. Today I handed him something he didn't and won't like.. that bad side of me that snaps at every possible chance to make him irritated and miserable.. and it only took 1 line..

BuggyMoron : Hahhaha.. woman konon..
: Hahahaha.. WOMAN!!!@_@
Me : EM.. you are????
(I purposely did that... because I don't remember knowing someone who have an alias called jerk...)

BuggyMoron : lolz..
: shelby ler?
Me : emm.. me?
BuggyMoron : lolz
: C A B
Me : cab?
: teksi?
BuggyMoron : c(si) a(ah) b(shortcut for shelby)
Me : I got 1 for you...camp national service
BuggyMoron : hah??
: wats tat
Me : Camp(Ka) National(Na) Service(Sai)
BuggyMoron : aiks
: sei ah b
: ng choi lei(don't want to bother/talk/play with you)
Me : wahahaha
BuggyMoron : :@
: sei ah b
: hate you liao
: wanna kill you liao
Me : good good
BuggyMoron : ur head lo
: don wan choi you liao (similliar to kiddy version of don't want to friend you)
: bye bye

Bwahahahaha... I'm so good with kids... He's pissed because he was in the malaysian national service before... and all the words that you don't understand well...well you find my kind of translations next to them... Not that I treat every kid like that.. but this kid is too old to be in that category... 18 of course is still a kid.. and i do not deny theres a big number of kid at heart that i know of.. but this kid really take the prize for being the most obnoxious...Espeacially how he mis-use the "nudge" thing...

Sorry but I'm not anywhere near sorry to be calling him a obnoxious/coconut-headed/half witted/technology abusing/SUPERAHBENG-ish/desperate ahlian magnet-want-to-be kid who just bark up the wrong tree...
I'm cranky because the rain fell on me.. canceled my swimming... yucky... but I like the rainning scene.. very very much... until he bug me that is.. so there...

Stares from no other...

2005-11-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

Today I finally remembered why I've always/constantly/without fail/fault turn down my mom's invite to go collect rent with her... Not that I don't like the attention that people would call me miss and look at me different... Let's just face it all girls are vain.. and though I'm completely floored and nailed to the earth, Vanity never fails to seeps in once in a while in a teeny tiny amount... If you're a girl and you're telling me straight in the face you don't like that kind of attention.. I'd just tossed you down a drilling pipe of any oil mining site and save God a whole lot of work To let you go through more days of tempted sin before he finally slam dunk you into the depth...
As I was sitting in the car waiting for my mom to collect the rent from the lady, there's this uncle with a waja parked in front of the house.. He was out of the car and he was staring right at me.. Mind you I'm not that vain.. I have witnesses.. He was staring right at me for a full 10 seconds for every 1/2 minute... I almost went down and ask him if he had problem with me sitting in my own car which I now suspect have been modified by my own dad.. Can you imagine the horror?!?! MY own DAD modified the car without me... Sob sob.. It's so much trauma to bear... :P
EMm... Apologizing for the tendency to run away from the story.. It's just too much changes to accept in very little/none time...Well.. I just don't like people staring at me... I don't look anything like any supermodel on any covers or actually just anything on any cover beside maybe the fact that I'm from the same species..Come on., you can't say I look as sleek as a minicooper... That would be so wrong...I'm in my shambles compared to the pretty lil thing... so WHY stare???
If you think I was wearing something revealing.. Well.. How revealing can a t-shirt and a mini skirt be when I'm sitting in a hilux??He could only see my t-shirt and my hair up with my glasses that makes me look like I've swam from china according to someone... Don't even tell me he has x-ray eyes.. because then you'll be blind cause I'll be forking those eye balls out myself...
Before I begin to remember... Happy birthday to Light... He's 27 tomorrow~!!! YEA!!! Hohoho... I like to remind people of their age when they're getting close to the big-0...So since it's his birthday tomorrow... Let me extend my warm wishes... *BURP*

Happy BURP-day~!! I'll join you being 27 in 7 years to come... But then you'd be 34 hor?? *evil laugh*

Dizzy Frenzy

2005-11-02T00:13:00.000+08:00

It seems I get dizzy easy lately ever since that ride he took me on after a full dinner... Am I cursed forever or something?? So to whomever living around pj area.. DO NOT go over to 1U and go into that euro theme park sorta thingy and get on that ride called the "challenger" if you don't want t get cursed like me.. Especially not after dinner.. or anything..
And I can't seem to get too full lately.. or I'll feel sick... I can't go on for car rides too long or go on curvy roads.. I'll get dizzy... WHY OH Why Oh why?!!
Please do not offer me suggestions like I'm pregnant or something because then I'll have to tell you I'm really expecting.. but I'm expecting to shove a foot and an arm of a silverback gorilla down your spine through your trachea instead of a baby..Yes.. I tend to be morbid when I'm not in good health or mood..
On the other hand.. I've been so bored I'm playing with lego... Those lil plastic bricks we use to play as kids.. building my version of a police station.. not that I wanted to build one.. but the bricks I have was actually the police set.. Proud to say my police station looked more like a glasshouse/club over a normal relief center for the disfunctional/a building fully loaded with moron/official breeding ground for incapabilities/police station.. but then who cares?? so SUE me.. at least by then I'll have some excitement... if not any..
It seems that a new comer squall is going to stay in my non-logical/non-functional/non-profitable/non-existing sort of a blog...So.. Condolences to him/her.. It's gonna be the worst decision you've ever made in the history of your entire life to be...In other words.. feel free to make it like your own place... The rest certainly did...

Uhh.. before I forget... I freaking miss him... I wish I could just break my serebrum in 2...

Knotted Gut

2005-10-31T13:35:00.000+08:00

First post back at home.. And I'm not quite cheerful... The hot hot weather has confine me to wearing almost nothing, not that you need to know... and the bright bright early sun that rises half an hour early give and take compared to kl is prohibiting me from sleeping in.... I woke up without any man-related assistance at 7:30 today....-_-... Talk about nature... And given I've only fall asleep around 4 worrying about a certain possible drunkard...I think I deserve a break.. Send down heavy downpour please... I badly need to get wet.. Not in that department mind some of you...

First comment I heard from people who have seen me (unfortunately)... That I've buff up.. no thanks to swimming training... I have broader shoulders.. Bigger arms.. Etc etc... I think I can fill the post of she-man soon... and some actually say I've gone so pale.. Which is terrible!!! How am I gonna convince my mom to let me get a bike and a license if I don't have the proof to show how tormented I am to have to take the campus bus service to class???And I'm actually close to closing the deal.. People here are really incorporative...>.<....or are they blind... how do i get pale when i swim under the sun almost every week for 2 times for a few hours...

Anyhow... the news that i'm back is spreading pretty fast(proven) since even my lil cousins called me to fetch them tomorrow... Alamak!!.. which i just remember i have an expired driving license..how to drive.... Damn...

bottom line.. I can't even say at least.. no games to play as well... gotta pick something up.. any suggestion?? i'm all open to suggestion considering the situation now... Please.. This is my plea to some excitement.. ANY?!?!

Raving Luna Week

2005-10-22T00:03:00.000+08:00

Finals is finally here...not feeling great about it at all... guess i hate the part where i have to read and actually know what will come on.... it's really unfair... feels like i've cheated.. or something..
People say to call what you don't understand a gift and eventually it will be 1.. but i still think it's kinda a curse though i know how and why... the feeling of knowing things will happen be4 they do.. sometimes it just isn't so great...
A friend told me with gifts there comes resonsibility and i know exactly what he means... but i rather not have all these... and as usual.. he'll do his thing that just calms me down though i was a raving lunatic before...Hehe...

So this is actually a post to release some tension and a thank you note to "him" for the new ankle bracelet and his spell on the idiotic me.. haha.. have a raving mad day people.. *muaks* you're all missed~!!!!

Motionless flying..

2005-10-13T01:33:00.000+08:00

I never lost anyone dear to me since I've known what is the true meaning of lost as to death... I really thank god for that.. I know I'm damn lucky.. But I know a friend who just lose someone he sees everyday to a bike accident.. Someone he hang out with every single day.. His place where he hangs out whenever electricity break... Someone so dear it's like they both came from the same cells...
it's just ain't the same he says.. Nobody even a freak can get use to something so sudden so quick... I can see him lost even with his text... I pray I don't have to face something like that so soon.. Maybe when I'm ready... But who is ever ready for things like this... My muay thai boxer.. I hope you'll get through this... When you're just too down beneath the land.. Look into those files of yours.. and you'll find my love for you... Just remember what you lose will be looking out for you from above... He'll always be with you.. Always...

Crimitive Dreams

2005-10-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

People have dreams all the time when they slumber.. no suprises that some might not like what dreams they have sometimes... Well.. Me.. I hardly dream throughout the year.. Don't ask me how does that happen.. I just don't.. Well.. Talking to a friend while I was laying on my bed and she on my dorm room's floor.. Do not throw stares at me.. She just likes my floor... And I of course love my bed... She told me of a dream.. She's with someone now.. And sexually active.. Yet the other day she has a dream of being with another guy.. This guy was none other than 1 of our seniors who'se decently good looking.. Short for a guy but taller than me.. Pretty built up since he's in the volunteer army.. It scares her that after the dream she really took interest in the guy.. Floating image of the guy in her mind when she's doing nothing... LOL.. I think she soaks my shoes with her saliva everytime she sees him... Maybe I should just leave her umm.." Distinctive" ways of describing the guy out of this or what happened in that dream of hers.... Who knows.. You might lose your appetite for a few days... just die knowing that steamy things happened..
Maybe some will call that a crime for umm.. I don't know.. Half cheating with the imagination??? Find it kinda fun... the guy's pretty hot.. and fun to be around when he's NOT commanding his fleet of 10 squeaking gossip-vamps.... Actually it's way fun to see him scream at those vamps.. :P.. Call me a devil if you please but.. Those vamps of his is just.. Death-guaranteed upon those who lay eyes on them...
Anyways.. got me thinking.. guilty for bonking someone else in a dream when you're already with someone?? nah... who do you think guys have in mind when they're in their room in their teens/20's/30's/40's and not getting any?? *winks*

PS : Those that just am goodies(with no mean intention/teases/smirks or what so ever).. Disregard my last line.. thank you...

UKM's Paksa-Raya

2005-09-29T14:36:00.000+08:00

Today is 29 September 2005 where every local university is having their election to select their new student body who will then compete in a friendly manner to decide who will be in the national local universities' student body. As it will well recorded in human history, any election should be done in a fair manner.. But guess what.. UKM really puts the "unfair" in fair.. How do they fit a 6 letter word into a 4 letter word you say?? Here's how..
Weeks before the elections even begun, you'll be dragged to meet-ups after meet-ups with your dorm masters or other wise known as "felo" about why you should vote for the party under your uni, for example "aspirasi" for UKM. And they'll tell you how they do not tolerate any party of members that do not stand on the government side.. Or better yet... They'll tell you they will not tolerate any members that does not support and uphold the vision and mission of the university.
And in these meet-ups, they'll tell you what happened to students who fail to listen to them, and they'll educate you that even if you have your civil rights or whatever rights to vote for whomever party you want to, the university is under a special set of law where if they kicked you out because you voted for the other party you can't sue them or anything because they're protected. They've even go the extra mile to mention even the police cannot go into our campus areas as they like.
If you're wondering what happens to students who refuse to "listen".. Well.. Within 24 hours after the election has ended.. They will be kicked out of the dorms regardless if it's 2 in the morning.. Their dorm masters will see to it that they packed every single piece of tit-bits and leave. How you ask do they know who voted for what? Well.. You see.. Every ticket has a serial number and they've recorded the serial number to our local uni registration number.. So wah lah~!! How democratic..
The day before the election, students are dragged out of their beds 1 in the morning just to remind them whom they MUST vote for.. Flyers are slipped into your rooms through out the night.. What a festive occasion..
I'm not saying students should vote for parties that screams no/object/reject to every sane and insane law there is on the book, but let the students have their right to vote for whom ever they think is fit for the job. It's our body.. That's why it's called STUDENT BODY... So let us decide what freaking people we want... IF we're respected as a university student like you told us, don't you think we have the decent pea-sized brain to choose??After all.. we did went through at least 12 years of malaysian education system to get here... how much more survival skills do we need to learn?? How much more ugliness of the local education system do you need to show us?? Have some balls and try to let go.. we know how to use a ball-pen and make a "X"....

Love Hurts..

2005-09-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes.. I try to be honest.. I know you would want me to break silence once in a while... But I couldn't.. When you do it to me.. It felt like a rack... You said it's unfair of me to get monster on you when you don't tell me anything when infact I do the same... Somehow sometimes I feel like I'm just there for fun times... and the " it doesn't concerns me " had never bring such joy like needles and knifes having a round-up fest inside.. I guess that's part of the deal... great ties brings great pain? lol... Never knew it could be SO hard..it cuts..

Examination Termination

2005-09-07T12:57:00.000+08:00

Hemm... I'm having mid-sem exams now... And guess what.. I never done any reading prior to the dates of my exam.. Yea.. I know everybody will be giving me the "are you crazy" dumb look... But do you seriously think I'd care?? Exactly...

Exams.. dislike them when I fail them.. love them when I score... It's like a love-hate thing.. hemm.. Sounds like it's along the line of relationships.. where you love and hate someone at the same time.. It's pretty destructive.. Hence... If I am ever the prime minister or something I'd be removing a lot of silly exams... Reason being.. Malaysia needs more healthy minds.. not trapped souls on printed OMR forms...

Having said that.. If I failed any paper then... I'd run for election when I'm legal.. If I actually scored.. Something must be wrong.. Or my lecturers have found my blog..*grin* Boo-Hoo...

Things that just can't be...

2005-08-30T13:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I amaze myself.. or should I say.. I kid myself too much... the joke is so huge a Boeing 777 could easily fit..
There's no such thing as complete honesty between anyone... Even with your own self you tend to believe in lies... There's only appeared complete honesty... Where you kid yourself ppl can really be completely honest with you.. but in real truth..It's far beyond that and no where close...
I guess "complete honesty" would be knowing complete truths of things you are let to know and not knowing anything or existence of things you are not apart of..
I guess I can live like that... Now I could too practice this category of "complete honesty".. Yea.. I very well can...

" Man always kept their hearts well guarded to protect themselves from harm.."Bravo.. well said...

Should have..

2005-08-29T16:42:00.000+08:00

When people tell you they love you.. Maybe.. Just maybe, you should keep the benefit of a doubt.. Let them have that privilege.. cause when they don't.. or seem not to.. you still have something to hold on to... a friend taught me that..
I don't know how someone could keep telling and showing and reminding how much he cares while he hides the whole world of his locked up tight in a treasure chest buried in the core of the earth..
a song from greenday playing.. I guess a few post is like a slap that wakes me up and tells me september has ended...
Mid sem exams going on now... I guess it's the right time to hurt me.. now I can bury myself in books like I always do.. to bury myself with something when someone put the stake through... Yea.. maybe I'm being really immature and baby.. but I guess I should have known... Yea.. I should have known...
Now I know why I like being alone all the time and never get bored of silence.. It's my nature to be... phone = dead....

Pretty Princess Dolly

2005-08-15T16:37:00.000+08:00

" no doubt you're a princess at home.. never done any work.. hence you don't need to say anything.. "

" one look at you.. I know you've never did anything in your life..everything must have been given to you.. you just need to ask.. "

*sigh* do I really look like such a princess to you..? Even if I do.. can't there be exceptions for the classic definition of princesses..? I'm no princess.. I don't like to be called that way... It's god/genetic given patience I don't slap you right across the face for calling me that and labeling me like that in public... Everytime you think you got the better part of me as I don't answer you back.. It's not because what you bark is true I'm just too well mannered to stoop to your level of utter stupidity..
If chipmunks were to run free at UKM.. I'll never doubt the fact they'll like to nibble on you best.. You'll be their ultimate target.. as you're a nutcase... One complete with butter and nut.. But I'll never touch you.. you're rotten to me.. flies might adore you in my world... roddens would run free...

An inch of pain

2005-08-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

Doctor slip in an inch long needle.. poked it around.. Failing to find my veins... pulled it out.. gave up.. found another spot.. and slide another 1 in... doesn't pain much when he slide it in.. it's the poking around that hurts.. I can feel the cold metal rod in my vein.. I wanna feel it with my fingers but sadly the nurse had it covered and it started the dripping...
Never been given drips before.. it's isn't very liberating either.. it's just a bag of water.. dripping into your vein through a metal rod... But laying there.. your minds start to come back to you.. I started with numb pale paper white palms and feet.. as the mind spins it's own cycle.. so does the body I guess.. from gasping for air to breathing on my own... but the throat still burns.. I choke on my own saliva..
Being driven to an emergency room at 3 in the morning is kinda fun.. every bump and skid made trying to get you there faster is felt significantly... I can't even say I remember the kind soul who drove me.. but his back will never be a stranger... 2 hours they waited for me.. and send me back to my bed.. watch over me in the morning.. I really feel I'm blessed.. the kindest souls are around me.. people sending me SMS though they're on their way back some 300 km away.. angels knocking on my door to get me up to eat so I would eat my meds... friends that would literally stop and took my arm when I climb that hill.. though I have no voice they'd still talk to me like I can respond..
I have no idea what I did in my previous life or what my family did or whatever whomever did.. I'm just thankful when I'm in bed that night and gasping for air.. I have my circle of angels... What more need I ask? Like a friend say... there's never enough loving.. I guess I'm full.. anyone need seconds? I could live like this..not accompanied but I'm not lonely....

Gaps of air

2005-07-30T12:00:00.000+08:00

Sitting in chair in a cc run by the cafe with a dysfunctional "f" key is not so fun.. I've never imagine myself having meetings and classes in the weekends.. Where I wake up at 6 am just for class.. Soon I might even function without any sleep.. Hey.. I'm already only sleeping for 4 hours perday if I'm lucky... I too have no idea as to how that happen.. I guess that's how uni life is like.. Or I'm just "lucky"??
Lie in general isn't so great... books are tumbling to be read.. tutorials beginning soon.. blood drive crashing on me next week.. I sincerely hope they just "accidentally" drain all my blood and send me to the graveyard.. Forget the hospitals.. I'll help save some tax payers' money.. Let's conclude I'm tired... Tired of some people..Tired of having to watch what I say.. what I do.. how I act.. what I wear.. Tired of things I have to pick up half way from people where everything is half crumbling or total chaos.. The body is able.. the mind is grey.. and the heart has stopped.. Any heart remedy anyone??Now would be the time to share...CPR is not a remedy...
I miss saying things when-ever I want and where-ever I am or whom-ever I'm with... Miss doing things just because I want to with no reasons.. miss not caring for anyone's feelings and just wing it.. and I most certainly miss giving people a taste of what they've given me... NO LIFE INDEED...
Now I guess I just like laying in bed not making a sound.. where everything is quiet and under my control.. no sudden moves to cope with.. no sudden death blows.. be it with words or action..Shhh..I think I have the right blogger name.. SilenceInt..I just want SOME control back.. Be it any.. give me my speech... I feel breathless..

Lucky not..

2005-07-29T18:13:00.000+08:00

JW says I'm lucky.. I have someone significantly older and would be able to give me attention materially rather than the usual attention guys our age could give.. I kid you not. It's not luck or is it joyous.. There are things that just ain't worth in exchange for material attention... Things you can't say or do.. times you're not making any sense because he's older hence under the impression of wiser... situations where no matter what you say it makes no difference...
JW says I'm darn lucky someone appreciates me.. I kid you not it ain't luck at work again.. there are things someone could just innocently say or meant that cuts through like clear glass...
JW says then I must be unlucky and unhappy.. I can tell you I'm never lucky or unlucky but I'm not unhappy.. I know what's give and take..someone once told me.. If you can't give don't take.. I guess I'm giving in a way... I just wished I could give more.. I'm just not brought up to just take things because people want to give it to me.. I guess I'll never learn to be good at it either...
JW says maybe I should just live with it... I am trying to... not live.. but love..
I wonder if it's hard?

Smelling like him...

2005-07-23T21:15:00.000+08:00

everytime i got off i could smell myself and i don't smell like me...
not a smell i'm familliar with, yet my shirt smells just right..
i don't know how to explain it.. i doubt i want to.. i just like it.. unknown but soothing..
sometimes i have bite-marks..though i don't bleed i can feel his breath and the warmth he left behind.. i guess i can't say he's 1/4.. and he's sure to see this..

" i just like being stench with your smell.. you're close this way.."

Being 20

2005-07-13T18:08:00.000+08:00

Boo... to all of you for bashing my shoutbox since i'm gone.. Shame shame..
Yea.. i've finally turn 20.. thank you for all your warm, not so warm, witty and some what funny sms.. And for those who forgot my birthday.. rest assure you'll not die a horrible death.. i'll just remain 19 forever... hehe...
What's new? I'm now official undergraduate of UKM.. having classes and meeting seniors that are peculiar... and living in a dorm for the first time where everyone and everything is not silence friendly.. noisy sial... but then.. i'm not so quiet myself.. Well.. believe it or not.. I'm now in wushu.. yes.. those kungfu you guys like to pretend to know.. so don't even think of bullying me.. not that you guys have succeed before anyway... Hence.. now i can say.. i know how to make economical bomb.. handle a rifle.. and wushu.. Gegege.. Why do i feel so great all of a sudden... wait till i get my hands on archery... which i will sneak in next sem hopefully...
it's been so long since i write.. i feel rusty and weird doing this.. so forgive me... all and all.. i'm having "some" fun... besides the crappy reception of mobile signal.. and no internet or wifi... yes.. you heard right.. i'm not in living hell though.. i'm having bits of fun here and there... and mind you.. no seniors ragged me.. only the other way round.. :P...
How do i end this again??? Nvm... Miss all of you on different level of intensity.. and thank you for all your birthday wishes.. it's still not to late to send me birthday presents, ok?? *laughs*

ps : might change number to a maxis 1 soon...

How to pack your life into 2 suitcases...

2005-07-01T17:55:00.000+08:00

Bler.. never liked packing.. even for a trip... or overnight stays...
And now.. I have to pack my life into 2 bags.. Wah.. What a challenge... Someone should invent some packing service... People say pack stuff important to you... Thats a major problem.. everything I keep is worth something to me.. from the things people gave me to letters and pictures... meh... I'm just not made to pack.. no wonder I suck at summarizing comprehension even at primary.. Bwahahahaha...

I think I know what I'm gonna miss.. But what should I bring..

The box where I keep every letter, card, confessions, pictures and notes ? Nah.. best keep that hidden at home.. I doubt I want people to find it.. or look at it.. it's highly classified... Or not..
The millions of picture everyone took of me alone or with them? Heavy sial... And they are not categorized or neatly placed in albums.. I'm not a neat freak..
My books of all kinds? Even more heavy.. but I guess I can't leave some of them behind.. Might need them...
The gifts people gave me?*trinkets included* Most definitely not... I'd be leaving them home.. except maybe somethings... like the piggy radio Vc gave me today.. Rest assure Vc it will be safe.. and it does not resemble me.. I emphasize on that... I think I'll leave my pretty precious bunny at home... Some things I need to let go of from my mind..namely a person by the name Kenneth..*bunny was from him on a christmas..* Yes I just named someone out.. live with it...and I don't care if he sees it.. he can stop wondering now...

I'm surely gonna miss the food.... But fear not.. Budak Ed@Vc have promised to help me with that.. Whenever I crave something.. he'd go take a shot of it for me.. Bwahahaa... Cruel torture.. but at least I can see them...

Toodles to everyone.. will be out of contact for 2 weeks or so.. phone will be hopefully functional... Yes.. I'm off to terrorized UKM if you still don't know... And I'm happy.. to be single.. reason being.. I don't want to take another trip down to confusion lane because I'm still half hearted...

V...I'm still half mine and a quarter yours...

I've been tagged...

2005-06-30T23:07:00.000+08:00

If you didn't already know, its a game where you can pick 5 occupations out of the list below, and then pass the tag along to 3 friends so that they could do it.

+ + + + + + +

If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a psychologist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an innkeeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be a service member
If I could be a photographer
If I could be a philanthropist
If I could be a rap artist
If I could be a child actor
If I could be a secret agent
If I could be a comedian/comedienne
If I could be a priest
If I could be a radio announcer
If I could be a phlebotomist
If I could be Paris Hilton's stylist
If I could be a movie producer
If I could be the CEO of Microsoft
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world
If I could be married to any current famous political figure
If I could be a dog trainer

If I could be a linguist
- I'd create my own language and enforce in every industry and media so everyone would have to learn it and live with it... it will be broken and cruel to Grammer..

If I could be a photographer
- I'd take photo of every political leader still alive in awkward situation and threaten them to donate every illegal penny they make to charity funds...

If I could be a writer
- I'd rewrite every folk tale or fairy tale into horrifying graphic horror stories for children's reading pleasure at night...

If I could be Paris Hilton's stylist
- I'd make her wear a diving suit while doing the red carpet stating it's "in" this season.. and she'd actually believe me...

If I could be married to any current famous political figure
- I'd be dead... or the world would be a rationally better place...

And now I tag... Frost.. Light... Seanna... Plant.. Doma..and Fub ( I know they say 3.. I'm just rebellious )
Psst : I wanted to tag saff.. she's on holiday.. windy and silver doesn't own a blog.. shin already been tagged...

Larry Kings gone wild..

2005-06-30T20:08:00.000+08:00

*sigh* *long sigh* I still don't know how to begin this...

I felt like I was stabbed at multiple places where each wound was inserted blade of some kind for multiple times at multiple angles... I wish I'd bleed to death..ALL the bad days seem so sunny now..

" Alex.. you're not trying to run away from me without saying hi are you? "
* I won't dare... *
" hey.. so you have a bf already? "
* nope.. still single.. *
" aiya.. don't be so picky lar you... "
* eh? I'm picky? *
" ok lar.. see you next time.. get a bf lar.. ai.. you're not so young already.. "

whether I'm single or not is highly none of your business... I doubt if I get a bf you'd get anything out of it but a few more green veins popping... and even if I don't ever get a bf.. you're not even on the list to take care of me for the rest of my entire life.. so back off...

" Ei.. alex.. long time no see.. "
* yea yea.. *
" How come you never call me or anything? "
* I lost my phone a while back.. give me your number now ah.. *
" ei.. tonight call ah lee and we'll go have fun.. "
* cannot le... I'm kinda busy packing.. leaving in a few days.. *
" no need pack lar. anything just buy over there lar... "
* cannot lar.. really.. next time lar.. *
" aiks.. you've become so arrogant already.. too good to hang out with us is it? "
*..............*

When I say I'm busy packing.. I'm packing.. I don't go with you guys because I can't.. unless you want to start blocking naggings and lectures for me.. I'll let the "I'm too good for you " image linger in your head...

" alex!! have you done xxxxxx and yyyyy and things I ask you to do?"
* (I wasn't even given the room to answer) *
" You're not a kid anymore.. yet you fail to do anything I ask of you.. and I've given you plenty of time... Still doesn't know how to take care of yourself... blah blah blah "
* ....................*
" you're the one who's going away but it seems like you know nothing or care nothing of it... "
*........ (waiting for her to finish or my boiling point to reach first..)*
" And this phone.. teach me how to use it... "
* (teach her how)*

When you don't see me doing anything it doesn't mean I'm not doing anything... I just don't think I need to show you or report to you everything I've done so you know I "do" things.. and I don't answer back to you or snapped at you even when you're being unreasonable because I ironically inherit your patience which you never use on your own children but only your patients or other people.... wait.. I inherit patience from dad too but I didn't use it on making plants pretty.. I obviously used it on you...

for the rest of you... do not bug me with anything that evoke or involve conflict of any kind.. just zip... kindly treassure your well being and do not start any whining or whimpering with me even if your pony died... I don't want to know...or hear about it... you've been warned..

I should have known...

2005-06-29T20:05:00.000+08:00

There I was resting my busted feet up having lunch in a normal scene.. with people I don't know around... Not so bad.. I like being around people I don't know... no expectations.. at the table next to mine sat 2 Malay ladies tudung and all... They saw someone they know and call out his name out loud.. he came in pulled a chair and joined them.. they didn't caught my attention at first beside the out loud calling and pretty loud chatter... I thought this maybe just a normal friends meeting up... But I soon know I'm very far off....

They were chattering real loud.. and suddenly I heard 1 of the ladies say " I just popped an ecstasy that day and I had headaches the next day.. the headaches were terrible.. " Woot.. she caught my attention there.. she doesn't exactly look the part... what follow next was even more liberating... " my son doesn't like it though... when i rub *insert name of ailment* on him.. but his father liked it very much.. " Oh my.. so she's married and with a son... and she's looking so up tight, I can't see any flesh beside her face...... My.. I didn't know the vibe of desperate housewives have sip into Malaysia.... What follow last was really educational... " so Vincent(the guy's name) if you get any other ecstasy or something... do take some samples for us.. take pictures?Give us a call... we just wanna see... " and the guy actually promised them... I highly doubt they just want to "see"... let's hope she put the kid at the grandparents house or something when she goes "see"...

That is what I call a shocking discovery.. Even discovery channel cannot beat that....
I really do not care if the government decide to ban all broadcasting of TV stations from abroad... I see what they're dealing with.. I do....

When doctors developed a sense of humour..

2005-06-28T21:34:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. like any student going into local universities.. we have to go get body checks.. Though I've been in and out of the hospital since I can remember I've never had a body check up till now... It's the usual blood.. urine.. x-ray and stuff... But what makes it fun is what the doctors say afterwards... and I think my family doctors have developed a very cruel sense of humour on me...

When measuring my height.. " Hey girl.. you're only 160cm tall.. thought you were 163 the last time you were measured in secondary? "
* so did I... where did that rough 1 inch went to doctor..? "

When measuring my weight.. " ooh.. you only weigh 45kg... "
* WTH...I just weigh myself this morning I was definitely 46kg..what's wrong with your scale... *

When looking at my x-ray... " EI? where's your heart? Oohh.. there it is.. EI!! is this x-ray right... OOh.. it's right.. "

* @#%&$^*((.... My heart is missing from the x-ray? what irony... *

Ai.. I thought I went in for a body check.. I came out feeling like I was doing a heart attack practise or something... I don't think I wanna do any body check soon... I might get even shorter.. how does 150 cm sound for the next check up?

Remember to not share..

2005-06-27T20:07:00.000+08:00

Ever remembered when you're a kid you always end up fighting either your siblings or other kids over something.. Toys..Books.. Sometimes you're so adorable you cry out in jealousy when your parents hold another child.. But as usual our parents or whomever around would take hold of us and teach us to "share"... And we'd grow up being "nice" because we actually learn how to.. or we grow up being a selfish snob because we failed to.. and there's the possibility that, that person who tried to teach us to share over-do it and we end up totally screwed where we'd give away anything anyone ask of us... Let's hope the "share" lesson wasn't brutalized on you... or you might end up shocked and emotionally in denial after this...

I won't say it's a bad thing to share.. Go share a hamburger you won't die.. And you might end up cutting SOME ounces.. Emphasize on some... You could share a cab and help your wallet out.. I don't know about sharing under garments though.. nobody should be that "close"... as in NOBODY... Enough horror and planting nightmarish image..

Basic rule of share would be to willingly give... I would willingly give things that I could bring myself to let go.. the normal stuff... But I doubt I'm so "generous" I'd share people.. Yup.. I actually know some people who would willingly "share" people.. In the sense that, they'll not make a squeak if they knew their other half is cheating.. and if they knew who they're cheating with they might actually go and politely ask if she could help in any sense... You guys must be thinking it's heaven on earth.. Fat chance... I'd give you a taste of lead if it was me..

I don't think when someone cheats on you it's ultimately their fault.. Maybe there are things you should have done but you didn't that lead to it.. like basic simple care.. when you're just too busy with your life and left people out.. then you're plain crazy to blame people if they choose to leave.. Nobody is obligned to wait around or do something they don't believe in anymore.. so don't torture yourself as the world have already been preparing and undergoing that mission before you were even born.. and it's really statistic breaking as to how you've all grown up the size of godzilla to any ant till this day..

Some of you might think.. "hey.. sharing a person ain't so bad.. I still have part of the person.. "
Let me get my much needed tools to crank that head of yours open... It is not fun or educational or emotionally liberating.. Mark my words.. Be prepare for a lot of pain and turmoil.. It's a whole LOT easier said than done.. and you'd win no Nobel prize if you actually survived... neither would you get a purple heart if you end up in bits... No matter what dillusional world you grow up in or how much mentally damaging korean/japanese drama series you feed on... Do not attempt to be "generous" in this matter.. if that person is yours so to say.. don't help send him/her away.. you'll regret it half way round the globe...

Hence.. do not do any much needed "sharing".. it's bad for your health.. very bad...

So I got my blog back...

2005-06-26T22:16:00.000+08:00

emm... so I got my blog back... and thank you for the new PW guys... It's really liberating.. I really didn't know.. No idea what-so-ever...
suddenly I ran out of thought to put down... emm.. let's go point form..

I'm well
I'm taught how to use a rifle again
I'd miss another firework display
it proves how I'm not destined to ever see one
I'm being push and shove everyday by my mom to pack
half my wardrobe has been identified and sort out in the shameful crime of indecent-c
I'd be leaving soon
last... I'm having a lot of fun eating everything delicious on my book.. that concludes everything in my town...

LOL... that actually worked... and I've just been tagged to state my wish for now...
bugger.. wishes.. *grumble*
Ok.. since I've always miss fireworks display.. my wish for now would be.. to actually see one within the period of 1 year... It's wishful thinking.. I know...

blackmailling the cat..

2005-06-25T13:10:00.000+08:00

we decided to hand back alex her blog since we can't keep up... weekeneds are hectic for us... and we don't solve dramas or dillemmas.. the shoutbox is... pretty.. disturbing to look at... either she'll update it or not.. is anyone's game..
at least we know we'd see her next year~!!

and for the PW... Alex.. the clue would be.. " think air heads.. "
if you can't figure it out.. we'll trade.. ur blog for some information regarding a "friend" of yours...

yes.. we learn black mailling from the best... you...

Ira's alex..

2005-06-23T20:02:00.000+08:00

Hey.. people who actually read this.. today it's my turn.. she calls me ira.. I work for M.. usual waitress job.. and here's what she is to me...

Every night she's coming.. without fail.. it'll be my second job to go over to the desert parlour and get her ice cream.. it was a thing i occasionally do at first but since she finished school and stop working a while back.. it was a routine.. tonight it feels weird i don't have to do it.. she said she won't come...
You can say everytime i see her happily scoop spoonfuls of ice cream, i hate her.. she can really make you go green... she never moves a muscle.. she chomp down ice cream almost every other night for a month or 2 and yet she doesn't grows an inch bigger... in fact she go down a size or 2... i don't know who's in her family tree but now i hate it for that high metabolism rate i don't get in my genetic pool...
it's gonna be a quiet night tonight.. not seeing her here.. you might think she sits in the same spot everytime she comes... well you're wrong.. she doesn't.. not that she can't but she won't.. it's another thrill of the job to search her out in the crowd...
once i ask her why.. she said it lets her see people better.. and she stress it's not in a pervert sense.. she likes to observe ppl without ppl realising.. she said it's much more amusing than what they show on national geographic... given what they are showing is alive.. Obviously she likes dead people more than alive ones... And i understand why.. Less pain..and like how she says it..

" it's not everyday.. dead ppl sprung up and tell you.. you're ugly.. "

alex.. wherever you choose to land.. be it kl/philipines or whales.. if you'll let us.. we'll keep writing for you.. send us even an autumn leaf.. we'd know..

Ira..

Update of the missing writer 01..

2005-06-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

M here... I think part of the job is writing down for her, her day.. I wasn't with her all the time but a conversation, i think 1 particular person should see.. I don't know who he is because alex never mention names.. she's always with her.. "just a friend.." respond..
I rang her up around 11 and ask her to meet me up at around noon for lunch.. she said her usual yea and ok on the phone.. but she never came for lunch.. she came by dinner... it's never her trend to be 6 hours late... guess she's still letting herself drift..

Alex. " hey M.. u call me over for? "

" miss.. i call u for noon.. it's dinner now.. "

Alex. " emm.. sorry.. i went to town to settle some bills... bought a magazine and just enjoyed lunch by myself.. i totally forgot u called me before.. "

" well... at least u spent time alone... anything else happen? "

Alex. " emm yea.. when i took a cab home.. the driver used a different road.. and i got to see the lovely coastline... and the great thing is noone was there... "

" hemm.. anti-crowd are we? "

ALex. " just trying to tune things down before i leave.. "

" speaking of which.. when are you leaving? date? time? "

Alex. " well.. like what i said to a friend online.. When you don't see me log in no more then you'd know i have left.. same goes to you guys.. "

" you're not telling huh? no sappy teary goodbyes at the airport? "

Alex. " i'm never good or decent with goodbyes.. so.. yea.. no sappy teary hugs or goodbyes.. "

" who's going with u? mom or dad? "

Alex. " actually.. nobody is.. I'm flying alone... "

" you mean.. no one other than your parents will see u off and you'd be flying alone? "

Alex. " yup... that's about right... "

" who's gonna take care of you once you arrive? get to school and stuff? "

Alex. " taxi? LRT? plenty of services.."

i guess the girl have really spend time drifting... sadly not away.. but apart... she hates flying for long hours.. and now she's flying for long hours and alone.. doesn't take a genius to figure this 1 out...

The writer gets busted..

2005-06-22T16:36:00.000+08:00

Yes.. Alex is still on hiatus.. In case you're wondering who's writing.. It's her friends who decided to bunk her out into the public "naked" and not letting her have a say.. We've changed your password alex.. so don't bother trying to delete this...
To the people reading..we've never blog so if we make a fool of ourselves we kinda don't care.. you'll not know who we are even if you live in the same town..
And we're fully aware that our boss's pub or our workplace or hangout will be serving brains instead of liquor once alex find this...

Though we tried to summarise her the best we could with about 20 heads thinking.. we couldn't.. Hence.. we won't bust it by trying.. We decided to bust her according to us one by one.. Today.. M, our boss a.k.a pub owner will be the first to bust her...

" Alex.. I'd remember knowing her and meeting her for the first time when she was around 14 or 15 i think.. Meet her on the local go-cart track with her 2 cousins genesis and rui.. Back then.. rigth about anyone age above 12 and tall enough could have a round at the go-cart for about 50 ringgit? Her cousins came over and asked to let her have a go at it.. I was thinking if these 2 jokers could read.. it says above 12 and she's not looking like 15 to me.. but it turn out she was.. when i first saw her i have my worries she'd ram the carts into walls or something, looking like the fragile brat she was.. But.. It turned out.. she beats her 2 19/20 year old cousins... this girl has fire in her.. speaking of fire.. i think i'll bust her on her temper.. She has 1.. though it appears she doesn't.. but she just lost it real quick.. i bet none of you have seen her so mad.. she curse at you personally.. well i did.. and it ain't pretty..
Let's just put it this way.. she ain't genetically built to stay mad at anyone... when she's mad.. she won't care if what she says would make you want to jump of roofs.. plain meanie.. but if you give her time to cool down as in do not even attempt to talk to her for a day or 2.. she'd forget it.. Once we got spooked by her because we didn't know her that well back then.. The other night she was screaming hell at us for something we did..it was really stupid.. and the next morning she smiles her million dollar smile and said morning..You cannot imagine how pale our faces were.. we thought she lost her mind.. turns out she's just like that...
She forgives way too easily.. My message for you alex.. Try to stay mad? Not everyone deserves to be forgiven easy... Me aside.. Hehe.. But thats what makes you who you are.. Guess we can't complaint.. Well.. all said.. We'll all miss you if you're ever gone..
OOh.. Do not attempt to run away from attending my ceremony.. Postcard will not do.. "

Alex.. We won't damage your image too bad.. Rest assure.. You'd be alive after we finish.. Cheers to the folks reading.. sincerely from us..

Sour Lines

2005-06-21T20:17:00.000+08:00

Have you ever read something and felt like a lemon orchard just rooted itself in all your senses...?A friend complaint he did after reading my post yesterday.. I can't say I know exactly how he felt when he said it.. but after reading somebody else's.. I think I know exactly...

"limbo" seems to be the word in season lately.. I do not deny the truth I kept some people in a limbo though I don't want to... I don't want to spill out fake apologies either.. I guess God has his own plans of teaching.. And now he's teaching me..
I don't know if it's a matter of mind or heart.. But I know no matter what was said or done.. a final call has to be done regardless.. I don't want to be stuck in a circle anymore.. I guess I'm taking back my old habit of leaving.. I know it's not very honorable.. and I have no reason or logic to call it the right way.. or to call it fair... But.. I'm setting myself free.. free of cluthing on to anything or anyone..

" No matter what you've said to me or promise me before.. It'll be of fond memory.. I don't want to be in anyone's way even of my own... don't think that you've hurt me.. you didn't.. I just don't want to stay in a lie.. she meant a lot to you..and she still does.. I doubt you'd let it go till you got your answer.. I might be very wrong.. But.. I don't want to live on half truths either.. this might be highly unfair to you.. and I might be making the biggest mistake of my life.. but i'd live on knowing at least this is something i'm certain of.. i doubt i'm old enough or smart enough to say anything to you.. but do hear this.. no point living life uncertain of anything.. cold hard concrete truth is way better than walking on thin air.. for me at least.."

Psst : you who woke me up at 4am... you're free to go too.. I highly doubt you'd let go... but even if you stay.. you won't find me.. I'm on a very much needed holiday of the mind...

As for the rest of you... who's most probably baffled beside light.. or not...
I guess this is my first ever hiatus... don't worry.. you won't notice I'm gone.. maybe you'll see me after I settle everything...as in school.. life.. and mind.. and in no particular order... God bless ya.. emails will still be useable.. phone calls might not be entertained though..

Yes.. I'm on the run like a convict..

Alex's out... for the moment...

Sickly Sweet

2005-06-20T20:36:00.000+08:00

A sick hot afternoon, hair's all irritated like medusa's, sticky long pj's on her legs, and just the right song playing on the radio, avril lavigne's fall to pieces..

" I don't want a conversation, i just wanna cry in front of you..and i don't wanna talk about it coz i'm in love with you.. "

Radio is definitely getting a notch on her christmas list this year..suddenly there he was popped up standing in her doorway with his back to the world..

" hey.. how's the view from the floor? " he said..

" perfect? "

and they'd both laugh knowing they just cracked a dirty joke no one would understand..And he'd asked how is she hanging on with her "pinkish" nails like he calls them.. and she would answer the usual, "barely".. and he'd say at least her nails are still pinkish..
That's what she liked about him.. he'd never promise her things that he can't give her right the moment she need emm.. but he'll make something up that's just the same and sometimes much more than she wanted.. like now...

" hey, girl on the floor.. I know you'd love a pool with your name on it right now.. but I don't have the energy or worker or fairy god parent magic to stir one up for you now.. Just get yourself ready tonight and I promise it's not a swamp.. "

she laughed out loud.. " How did you know i'd ask if it's a swamp? "

" very funny.. I'll see you tonight with your deadly pink one-piece.. "

Night fell, phone rang.. In 5 minutes, she's seated cosy in his car and drove to a very familliar spot...
" Sam, this is the country club.. it's packed like a sardin can? " she asked..
Trying to reassure her, he stumbles with explanation..
" Just wait for 10 minutes.. we'll go play swings.. "
" eh? ok.. i have no complaints with swings.. " Bewildered..she followed him..

Under the bright street light.. you can see vivid shadows of an adult and a kid swinging, cracking through the much heard screams of kids in the pool...

" hey sam.. " as she suddenly turned to him..
" what? " he answered...
" why didn't you promise to build me a pool like the rest? " she asked with much curiosity in her eyes..
"thats the most idiotic line anyone after you could say.. " sam replied..
She laughed.. " how could you? don't call ppl idiots for saying promises.. "
" I didn't call them idiots.. I said the promise is idiotic.." he replied, defending himself..
" ok.. why? " Half holding back her giggles she asked for an explanation..
"well.. girl swinging with a idiotic smile now.. which I haven't see for a good few weeks.. " he explained swinging back and forth..
"i didn't make a promise like that because you're not that kind of person..
I think you're pretty tired with promises or anyone trying to show they 'care' with material.." he continued further , trying to not act like a oddball..
" I mean I'm sure your dad alone gives you enough..And you're not that kind that like to take things just because ppl want to give it to you.. or do you need material.. Besides, when I do build you that pool.. You'd already lost interest.. and that pool and my face might be the last thing you wanna see on earth.. "

Again, their laughter cracked through the silent night..

" Am I right or not? You're the 'now or don't bother ever ' kinda person.. " he said pushing to make sure..

Half laughing, alle continued.." sam.. do you think it's possible to have a PHD given to you for knowing me this well? "
he joined the joke.. " emm... No.. but.. another different piece of certificate would suffice.. "
" what certificate? coroner's office? " she joked half chuckling..
" very soothing girl.. I was thinking along the line of marriege certificate.. " looking earnestly into her eyes he just blurted it out..
she was stun like a cat caught at the aquarium.. "ho?!"
" ho what? I'm not high or crazy.. " he quickly exclaimed..
" when you smile like that.. you make even a stranger feels special.. " his eyes goes all dreamy as if describing a perfect potrait..
" i seriously won't mind waking up everyday, even in prison, if i see it.. " he said.. as he stare into her black eyes...
" now this is weird.. " she said half suprised..
" ran out of smart remarks, alle? " he mocked with a chuckle..
Staring into his eyes.. she echoed.. " i actually did.. "

Both of them just look suprised and laughed it away...

Pointing at the now empty pool, he turned to her..
" hey.. pool's empty for ya now, princess.."
Looking at him with a long lost smile.. " I think I like here and now.. thank you.. "
"hahaha.. ok.. I don't get to throw you into the pool? " he shruged..
" well.. at least i know i didn't go through the trouble of building you a pool..."
As he laughed away.. she wispered in her mind..
" sam.. you know me so well.. it's like i'm Jeperdy on american tv.. how do you do that? ..."

"hey sam.. do I act like a kid? " again she springs questions at him..
Almost choking.. he answered.. " emm? no? and how exactly is acting like a kid? ""what's wrong with you? asking stupid questions like this.. sun stroked? "
she looked away, eyes wandering into a painful moment.. " just wondering if there's a right or proper way to act when one's grown up.. "
"LOL.. No!!! there is not, my pretty baby with curls.. "
" no? not at all sam? "
" i assure you.. no.. " further assuring her.. he goes on.. "clowns are grown ups and very much a person underneath their make up.. " " and i've seen grown up ladies who actually are so immature they think out loud a classic housewife scenario is the ultimate life... "
" really?" she exclaimed..
Puzzled, he continued.. " what happen to you? someone been telling you bad things? You are unique the way you are.. that brain of yours is highly priced, ok? "
Trying to assure her she's special the way she is.. he continued.." I beg you.. don't ever change for anything.. You're rare because you're intelligent inside and a fluffy rocker outside.. "
" sam.. what's a fluffy rocker? " she asked with a bewildered look...
Pointing at her.. " you are silly.. you are.. "
With a frown.. she ended it.. " I just won't know what is that.. am i? "

they walk back to the car with the same tune in their mind.. Party for two by Shania Twain feat Mark Mcgrawth..though he doesn't sing.. he tries.. and it's audioly painful..but sweet..

" sam... SAM!!!" alle half shouting to get through his painful singing..
" yea?" he uttered.. as if fallen from a dream..
" you sound horrible.."
" hey girl.. even when you're half way around the globe.. I'd stop bonking a girl half way and listen to you..i got your back.. "

They end the night dancing at a local club.. and it's a break.. a break from her overdrived brain..
"thank you.. sam.. i'll miss you.. " she uttered as she step into her doorway..
they clearly know nobody belong to anyone.. not her to him.. or him to her.. but they care just like that.. Maybe he does want to belong to her.. but she's too messed up to notice..

What luck...

Psst : notified me for any mistake.. this is clearly a lousy attempt.. hope nobody will stoned me to death for this 1.. connection was out for the past few days...

Marionette In a Snow Globe...

2005-06-17T00:19:00.000+08:00

It's almost a year I've written on this blog..
Suddenly I realise at this point.. I live in a snow globe.. The things are always the same.. the weather never change.. Not because I love them so much.. But because I'm just another figure in it.. Everytime anyone look in.. I'd be perfectly fitted with the back drop...
I feel like a barbie doll manufactured with defections.. they horridly gave me a heart and IQ over 150.. And I didn't fall in love with "ken" like I'm suppose to.. I fell for Chuckie the doll..
I felt like a muffin with all the right toppings..but all the wrong fillings... Sprinkles on top but filled with wasabi inside...

I don't like this joke... Would some one laugh already and end it?

Who the heck made me.. I want to sue emm for making me so "unfit" in any picture...

A Tinted Hope..

2005-06-16T14:46:00.000+08:00

Obviously I have a lot of free time... And I need to thank someone.. I don't think 2 words is sufficient.. Hence.. I made him something..

Psst : Don't tell me you don't know it's for you... you'll receive a whack through MMS and MSN.. Got your number...

Sighted Bell Chimes...

2005-06-16T11:27:00.000+08:00

{V.Vamp} " oiii.. u disapear for so long...how are u ah "
" oei!!! J.. I'm fine... "
{V.Vamp} " ok.. glad to hear that "
* there's a lot of rubbish in between so i think i'll just warp to the main points..main points as in guys... *
" how's thing with 'him'?"
{V.V} " which him?? "
" hahaha.. i forgot.. thats why i asked lar.. "
{V.V} " i'm still with p... "
" great.. this 1 sticked ei? "
{V.V} " hehe.. yayyyyy... "
{V.V} " planning for wedding in 18 months time *wink* "

Congratulations to you J... * edited more rubbish and private talk... *

{V.V} " hehe..but now you guys have to figure out what kind of wedding it's gonna be..bahahaha.. u guys will be invited to Perth for the wedding lah.. "

Perth huh? 18 months makes it a december... V.Vamp is someone i know for a year or 2.. maybe longer.. someone who knows what she wants and am all out to get it.. though it's not society moral proof.. *laughs* she's an inspiration.. and her cat is just annoyingly adorable... soon with another annoyingly loving husband... Congrats P and J.. You guys will be peanut and butter soon.... and here's the cat...

Ooh.. and the snack she sucessfully endorsed to me.. all the way from the states...
fish that looks like gummy bears.. Don't ask me for a weirdness meter...

50¢ impression

2005-06-15T17:13:00.000+08:00

Marion Raven's new song playing in the back.
Suddenly everything vividly goes on ultimate playback.
Every font from you..telling me I mean something..
Yet, it doesn't anchor in my brain though I try...
I guess it isn't easy to log it in my input section when every frequency you transmit gets very distorted at the mention of a particular alphabet...
Walls stood to keep my little left trust safe..
There was once a moment you gave me, makes me eager to break them all down.
yet, when dawn broke today.. the magical moment was gone...
My walls now stood facing the blazing sun trying to block the piercing wind of daggers from where you are.. thousand of miles away...
Now I know what a coin impression felt like, I am there but I'm not the 'coin'...
"worthless" could very well be use...
And hanging in the middle is perfectly painful...

*Marion Raven - End of me..*

Hey
Stay with me
As I'm getting naked
Stripped down to the bone

Hey
I'm afraid
This could get ugly
And I might leave here alone

This is not a mistake
It's the dawn of a new day
Anything goes from now

This is the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence
If I'm caught in the middle
I know it will be the end of me

Hey
Talk to me
Don't play me with your silence
Whisper it in my mouth

Cause this is not about hate
It's the start of a new way
Anything goes from now

This is the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence
If I'm caught in the middle
I know it will be the end of me

This is not a mistake
the dawn of a new day

Hey
Stay with me

Hey
Stay with me
As I'm getting naked

This is the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence
If I'm caught in the middle
I know it will be...

It's the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence
If I'm caught in the middle
I know it will be the end of me

Hey, Yeah

Stupidest line ever said..

2005-06-15T13:08:00.000+08:00

Walking into a bar in the morning is dead down creepy... You actually see natural light coming in from the glass pane doors.. And everything feels ol' so empty... There's no drunkies.. No kids... No loud music... No band.. No golden liquid pouring.. And certainly no Jerks or Air-heads parading around... The places so crowded from the night before suddenly feels quiet.. and "serenity" can definitely be use...

{Ming} " Alex.. morning to you.. Glad you can make it.. "

"... dragging me out here ol so early is hazardous to my health and your well being, ming... "

{Ming} " Breakfast is on me.. so keep your claws at bay.. I actually got something good to offer.. "

" breakfast better be 'real' good... and talk quick.. or your bartop might be my final resting place of unconsciousness.. "

{M} " how bout you.. work for me? as in help me manage the place.. not the whole place.. just the VIP lounge.. You don't have much to do.. just pour and sit.. You'd get commissions on every mug you pour.. "

" cheh.. drag me out here so early for nothing... Though I know the cash would not stink in my pocket.. but.. I don't think I'd stand the truck load of stupidity coming from ppl like terminal jerk.... "

{M} " not even part-time? you have any idea how many customers comment on you the other night? "

" no? and I don't want to find out... "
" thank you.. but no can do lar... my forever atm machines would have me slaughtered.. "

{M} " Ok... But.. promise me you'd head out here more often? "

" meh? I don't survive on liquor boss... and I don't get money from plucking them off my dad's bonsai either..... "

{M} " is that all? walk in here.. and you don't have to worry about whatever you're having... besides.. how often do I actually charge you everytime you walk in ah..? "

"... You just charged me the other day?? "

{M} " where got.. you're tipsy.. lousy memory.. hei.. girls these days.. so early lost their memory... "

" ............... I got the receipt.. "

* quickly switching topic *

{M} " ooh.. terminal jerk asked me to give you a note... if I ever see you again.. "

" bah.. what a morning.... what does it say? "

{M} " and I quote.. ' Your curls and curves would fit perfect between my legs.. ' "

"@#$%^*&!!!!!......"

I normally do not curse... But this guy... Don't EVER let me run into him with a jackhammer at hand....

Terminal Junkie

2005-06-14T14:02:00.000+08:00

Walking into the old familiar scene, suddenly it feels so strange..
Seeing kids dress up trying to look "cool" like any HK star in a bar scene kinda draws back memories...
People everywhere.. Mopping.. Cheering... I guess the word "bar" is now a part of people's life where they celebrate and break down.. It use to be somewhere else.. But I've not live long enough to know where...

" Alex, come on.. what are you doing walking so slow back there? saw a cutie? "

" Not yet.. Just checking the kids out.. "

As we sat down.. and drinks come pouring.. I looked around and noticed some people were just always in this scene in their peculiar seats and tables.. Having the same drink like I use to saw them... Gratefully not in the same outfit... And sometimes.. Painfully still the same terminal attitude...

" Hey.. Alex.. Haven't seen you here for a long while.. What did you do to yourself? Plastic? But who cares? You now look fine enough to let you join me in the VIP lounge.. Come on.. Don't waste time sitting with a bunch of jokes here.. You'd never get invited into the VIP lounge that way.."

" hi.. and you are?Oh wait.. I remembered.. Isn't he the guy who always walks around with a smuck face as if botox gone wrong or something, guys? "

" I see you're still feisty.. But I like.. Hang out with me and you'll get what you want when you want girl.. "

" Hemm.. Here's what I want.. You.. Get out of my face... And stop amusing us with your terminal lung cancer breath.. Got it? "

" your lose baby.. your lose.."

It's pretty shocking to see how people gone from bad to worst in a flick of a few years... And I have done nothing to help along this one either.. Amazing... And how painfully persistent they can be...

waitress{ira} " Alex.. Terminal jerk send you a bottle of red.. "

" Emm.. I'm now obligned to give him a toast aren't I? "

{ira}" I guess so.. So what will it be? "

" come on guys.. Let's give terminal jerk a toast... to his... "

{J} " Terminal lung cancer? "

" no.. a toast to terminal jerk for his terminal Prostate~! "

{ira}"Wee wee.. Cheers to the terminal Jerk with the terminal prostate from the terminal junkie.. "

" shucks ira.. You added another title under my belt? "

{ira} " no worries darling.. only you and I know why you're a junkie.. "

Yep.. Only we know.. Or do we?